Yes, a great and very candid thread. This is the forum at its best! I've noticed too that many submissives have been through violation or abuse in early years (so have not a few women artists) and in some instances it will have contributed to the submissive leaning, but that doesn't give anyone the moral right to say "well, she was raped once, so that's what pushes her there to look up that kind of guy again". Much less to say all subs are old rape victims!

And I'd totally agree with you Tom that sometimes it takes a trauma, danger, a loss, to make things stand out clearer and to realize the limitations of life - or to see that one is presently living in a too narrow and pinked-up world.