I was also in an abusive relationship previously. I'd like to first clarify that I don't think this is why I am submissive. I was into BDSM before this relationship. In fact it makes it hard for me at times to act out my fantasies because it can bring up memories of my abuse. Although I know my Dom is not like my ex, strange subtle cues can spark this in me.

As far as your dilemma is concerned, I think it would be really difficult to identify abuse as it is happening. But afterwards, as others have said, I think it would be beneficial to be approachable in case someone reaches out to you for help. I understand that it may be hard to decipher who is crying wolf and not but maybe its a risk to take. If there is someone being abused who reaches out to you, you can really make a difference. That first step is the hardest to overcome. What I'm trying to say is that if you have to sit through several "sob stories" but at some point come across someone who is in fact being abused that it would be worth it. I hope what I'm trying to say is clear...