Quote Originally Posted by icey View Post
does anyone here ever want to jump in when subs new to it all are not sure how to 'act'.or are too nervous and feel silly admitting that its all new to them.

im asking because there have been many occasions ive come across people who after reading all the hype and crap on the net believe they have to act in a certain way.we've all been there,and sometimes commonsense just doesnt prevail.

calling everyone Master/Mistress, offering anything and everything both sexual and non,regardless of what they really want or feel simply because they believe they have to.
then generally end up doubting themselves because they find that they feel intimidated and couldnt possibly live up to that and bowing out without ever finding what it really is all about.

then there are those that end up being ignored by genuine people in the lifestyle and dismissed because they believe them to be wannabees and cheap thrill seekers.
and often end up pounced on by the i am Dom/me hear me roar clueless idiots or even worse find themselves,getting hurt, in abusive or dangerous situations or relationships.

i always wish i could say something and try to enlighten (probably the wrong term to use) them a little,but know i cant unless asked and many wont out of shyness nervousness embarrasment...a whole number of reasons ....because they'll probably think im being some pushy interfering know all and ignore anything i might try to say,and it isnt my place to do it.
im not saying im an expert or know whats best,because im not and i dont believe that anyone is as such and we're all different and need different things.

i know there's 'mentors' out there although im not sure how many are actually genuine and whether its a good idea,you cant really teach anyone in reality, and anyway most new-comers often dont know there is such a thing.

a long winded post i know,but havnt you ever been in this position and feel so frustrated at times when you have to bite you're tongue and stay quiet? or do you just jump in and try tactfully to point them in the right direction?

Sometimes it’s just so hard to watch and not say anything. Giving gentle unsolicited advice is a tricky thing, some listen and some don’t. There is always the chance that reception of what you are saying will be taken the wrong way. Some I just want to shake. Some I just want to flat smack around. Some I want to help.

Posers/predators/players come in many forms, both Dom and sub. For the most part it’s easy to spot those who are just claiming to be in the lifestyle for cheap thrills, and those who are truly new and wanting to learn.

Unfortunately, being on the receiving end of being played can jade you in extending the hand of friendship and help. It can make you wary of those that approach you. But that still does not stop me from …..trying.

For me it is gratifying to help others. Honestly answering questions honestly asked are always a pleasure. Sharing experiences, thoughts, ideas and feelings in the hopes that someone else may benefit…….is satisfying.

Helping others sometimes can be a double edged sword. But what is worst that can happen?.....Your feelings may be hurt or what you have to say is not listened to. On the other side of that however is the knowledge that you may have helped someone over come fear, prevented them from some folly…….or simply helped them find them selves.

Everyone makes mistakes, everyone starts somewhere………I am always willing to help or point someone in the right direction. I am willing to do what I can do……..after all, in the end, it is service.