I agree that this is a problem but I think the solution does have to be education. Maybe a message on the boards as soon as you join saying 'this is what we do, this is what we are about, if you don't like that leave' which may deter some of the wannabes and possibly attract more of those who are looking for serious committment.

I'd be wary about any name and shame policy. Its a good idea in theory but in practise it needs to be tightly controlled and seen to be a fair system otherwise you open up accusations of witch-hunts. The purpose should surely be to make sure that those who come into the lifestyle with mistaken impressions acquire the correct ones before they cause trouble rather than alienate them from the group altogether. Of course, if they persist in bad behaviour then banning them from the group is sometimes the only option.

I used to frequent a particular chat room (the UK room of alt.com). Because it was linked to AFF you got a lot of people (men especially) who wandered in there because you got extra points for joining another AFF site and they all thought 'Yeah, BDSM, lots of kinky bitches who will do me cos I order them to'. They' d swagger into the UK chatroom, demand that any women meet them for a shag right now and then be flamed to a crisp by all the Dommes in the room who were just saving up all that frustration to use on someone Then they'd either get put on mass ignore or (if they seemed genuinely interested and responded to the criticism well) one of the posters would invite them to private chat and tell them in words of less than one syllable that that was not how things are done and that the best way to achieve anything is to be polite, talk to people about things other than sex and generally be yourself. Some were never seen again, others hung around and got into it. Apart from these (brief) interruptions that was one of the best moderated chatrooms I had ever been in We mostly talked about shopping, housework and how I needed to be gagged to keep me from saying stupid things...