i never made it to the clubs (too shy). i didn't really know what exactly i wanted at first...so i talked to alot of people at length on here. For me i looked for someone with similar bdsm intersts as well as regular stuff, because as much as we all may wish to, we can't play all day. Reality has this wonderful way of crashing the party.
then i found my Master online...or rather He found me.
When He and i started talking it was online at first, then graduated to the phone, and finally after several months we agreed to meet in r/l. i am now His r/l slave.
But of course it doesn't always happen like that. Some people i know have searched several years for the right Master.
I guess my best advice is to go slowly and really get to know Him. Trust takes time to build and when you are giving yourself to someone you want to know exactly who that person is.
i don't know if this is what you were looking for but i hope i can help in some small way.

Btw... from the south suburbs of Chicago