My parents fought all the time throughout my childhood...until they divorced (which was a year after I married my first husband). I was only 16, and know now that it was just to get out of the house. He decided that he didn't want to be committed to a relationship and started cheating about a year after we married.

I married my second husband about 4 years later. He turned out to be extremely abusive and controlling. I couldn't talk on the phone without handing it to him to "verify" who I was talking to. Nor could I go out with friends or family. According to him, if I wanted to spend time with them it could be at either our place or theirs (with him in attendance, of course). Anytime I couldn't account for a period of time throughout my day he immediately assumed I was cheating on him and he would proceed to knock me around until he was finally convinced that I hadn't.

After a few years of that, I finally found a safe place to stay and divorced (with a restraining order). I moved to another city over 100 miles from him and started over with my child from my first marriage.

Then, I met my recent husband. We dated for about 3 years before marrying. Only to discover that he also has a violent temper. He is not as controlling as my second husband and doesn't have trust issues...but when he loses his temper the result is always violent.

We have dabbled in bdsm as I have discovered that I am much more comfortable in a submissive role, but since the violence I have not been able to allow myself to actively enjoy the lifestyle.