Quote Originally Posted by pervertedpages View Post
I hate to be the Debbie Downer here, but "why is it cool to be bi" and the language some of us are using to talk about this -- "claiming" to be bisexual, "flaunting," "so-called," -- is exhibiting the kind of mistrust for sexual minorities that I've heard from the moral majority my whole life. As a sexually submissive bisexual woman, I just want to make sure this thread has a little bit of comfort for bisexual women who have also been on the receiving end of such mistrust for their sexuality. Hell, I know you're not talking to /me/ because I'm not in your scene, nor do I run around kissing women for pretend funsies. But I can't helped but feel that old familiar feeling because this kind of conversation happens all the time and I can never do anything but squirm because it's hard to articulate why it makes me feel so uncomfortable.
I haven't done it on this thread but I use that language.

I want you to know that it isn't an expression of disrespect for actual bisexuals. I do it out of respect for actual bisexuals.

I think it is demeaning to actual bisexuals when you call yourself a bisexual because you are a woman who is willing to fuck another woman for the benefit of some man. If you do that, you are "claiming" to be bisexual. You are "flaunting," and you are the very essence of "so-called."

Your sexuality is about whom you feel romantic love for. Romantic love is a very powerful, very intense, very life changing things. And it is at the very heart of sexuality.

I really dislike it when people reduce sexuality to fucking. It bothers me as much when people can only think of gay men in terms of butt fucking. I think there a whole lot more to being gay than butt sex.

I just find it demeaning to love.

If you will only fuck a woman for your man, you are straight. It's a judgement call but I'm making it. If this is what you do and you have the audacity to call yourself bisexual, you are "so-called". I accuse every one of those people of being "so-called". And that has nothing to do with you or who you love or the respect I will have for your love.

I just wanted to be clear about that.