Submissive troubles

[voxelectronica]

My take on these conflicts?

Both Sinderella and Mizar came online and voiced their concerns with their significant other. They ultimately know all the circumstances of these relationships and still feel as if something is wrong. I'm sure that they have racked their brains over these issue and can not come up with a logical reason for their significant others behavior.

There is only one thing that can at this point and time be asked to resolve this issue. Can you live with this behavior? are you satisfied?

I've been busy. I've been really busy, getting on and off planes with spotty phone reception in some airport I've never seen in my life, running to get my connection while still managing to get a martini and a cigarette and I can STILL get a message out to about 20 different people.

Sinderella there are plenty of Doms out there who invest the time into you that you need. Look at the OP he *wants* to invest time into a sub. As a Dom I want to invest time into a sub and wont take on one who isn't in the right spot to give me what i need from them.

Mizar. I've been in this lifestyle for 13 years (yes i did have a Dom when i was 14 for those of you doing the math). I only remember romanticizing BDSM as some superior way of being when i was young. Sure there are indeed people who believe in things like a "sacred bond" and there is almost a religious aspect of it for them. I'm not knocking their take on it but she doesn't seem... serious about obtaining that. I would remind her that if she wants some sort of bond then she needs to put into the effort. If you don't like this cycle then break it.

Life is far to short to not be satisfied with your relationships. I want my subs to be there ready for me. I don't find this to much to ask, just some availability so that I can talk to them even if it's just about their day. If that can't comply with that basic idea then they are on their own. I'll be their friends, I'll talk with them, I'll hear them out but I WILL NOT invest my time unless i get the same in return.

How I would straighten this sub out? I'd ignore her as you may notice from some of the posts in the sub forum this is horrible. She will learn that as a sub she needs a Dom as part of some sort of sacred bond or she will realize that either the lifestyle or your flavor of it is not what she wants.

If you want to be official about it, set a time period for the amount of time that you will not be speaking to her, remember it's final. Tell her that she is to write to you x amount of times a day. Have her write emails to you, (don't respond of course). Have no contact with her but make sure that she is thinking of you.

That's just my two cents.

[shayna{L_D}]

Life is far to short to not be satisfied with your relationships. I want my subs to be there ready for me. I don't find this to much to ask, just some availability so that I can talk to them even if it's just about their day. If that can't comply with that basic idea then they are on their own. I'll be their friends, I'll talk with them, I'll hear them out but I WILL NOT invest my time unless i get the same in return.

well said. took the words right out of my mouth.

[Sanapet]

As said many times above, "If she truly wants to be with You then she would find a way."

But again, she could be going through a rebellious stage and again a really good way to stop this would be to tell her that it's unacceptable and ignore her for a set period. Make sure she knows why you're not speaking to her though.

But also, if she's one to forget her place then maybe You just need to give her one good thorough session of punishment. When I get out of line my Master (W/we have a very long distance relationship atm) will give me a very humiliating tongue lashing, afterwords it's like I can think more clearly thanks to the punishment.

Interestingly enough (and a bit off topic) this happened the first time just after O/our relationship went long-distance and I was missing Him horribly, I still miss Him like crazy and I've notice lately that when I'm missing Him the most is usually when I start acting up again. I'm endeavoring to be more careful of my actions so I don't disappoint Him again.

Sana