Thank you all for sharing your stories. I have read them all and I see many correlations with my own experiences and thoughts.

I have asked myself these questions often, as I too tend to psychoanalyze myself rather frequently.

I was molested by my uncle when I was 6 years old. This happened frequently over the course of a year, while I was in kindergarten. My father was away and my mother worked, so my 14 year old uncle babysat me after school. We were alone for several hours before my mother came home at night. I did not tell my mother this until I was in the 5th grade. Then she misunderstood and thought it had only occurred one time. She did not know until I was 16 that it happened repeatedly and intensely for that whole year.

It has, of course affected my life in countless ways. The only real sexual / bdsm issue that I've run across though are certain phrases that I react badly to, phrases that my uncle used.

I have informed Mia'Cova of the abuse, the extent of the abuse and the particular phrases that bother me. We have discussed the possibility of things like rape-fantasies, etc. and we realize that for these he will have to be careful of my reactions and I will have to be aware of how I feel and react as well. If there is a negative reaction, we will not try those again. He will not use the phrases that make me uncomfortable.

I know this has affected this area of my life, but I think (as with everything else) effective communication can help you to overcome so much.

And on a smaller note, related to the discussion on women not being able to find themselves beautiful: I would not necessarily classify this as "emotional abuse" but I remember my father saying to me frequently as a child, "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose some weight". I know that I am beautiful inside, but things like this make it harder to believe it of the outside. I hope that I will overcome that with time.