I've glanced at this thread in passing, but not being of the particularly poly persuasion m'self (wow, there's a mouthful) I haven't paid attention too closely. I'm not opposed to play with another Dom, sub, or couple; but my romantic inclinations tend to be pretty singular and focused so I didn't suppose I had much to offer in the way of intelligent commentary on this topic. This morning I read the original post from start to finish, however, and was struck by one thing in particular:

"Only one person in more than a year of seeking, has even come close to being someone we were both interested and able to work with."

There are DROVES of singles out there (from vanilla to Dom to sub to everywhere in between) that are going through the same thing in regards to finding a long term or lifetime partner. Some people get lucky - they bump into just the right person at just the right time and everyone lives happily ever after. Others spend years looking. And years. And YEARS.

I've been on the "dating scene" m'self for, oh, about seven or eight years now and have only ever considered two of the men that have been a part of that scene as potential husband material. This one on one match-up is hard enough to find, and it only increases in difficulty when the person you're looking for has to love and be compatible with two of you, and both of you have to love her back as well.

So my curiosity is this: is it unreasonable to assume that this search, in all reality, could take five times as long as it already has regardless of the fact that you and your Master are indeed, "both friendly, fairly attractive, Loving, interested, (and) stable?" Or, is this indeed a purely poly problem? (I'm just adoring the alliteration today.) I can see where the hierarchy issues are something that needs to be addressed, sure, but are these the primary issues in your search?