I wanted to say thank everyone that took the time to answer me, you have no idea how much it was appreciated. Wanted to let everyone know that the Dom who handed me the paddle came to see me with his submissive, they apparently felt bad about what happened. He said that they thought of me so much of the group already it did not occur to them that i felt the way i did. I apologized for reacting the way i did and not standing my ground and explaining how i felt. yes i know.. communication.. communication.. communication.. I have so so much to learn. Thank you again, for helping me see the different aspects.