Who has the most power?

[Midnytedreams]

When did BDSM become all about the Dominant.

In my 30 yrs plus in the lifestyle I have seen it change...I remember going to my first munch as a young man,,,Seeing others more experienced there Tops bottoms switches...some who weren’t sure where they fit...never did I hear a harsh word spoken. All were welcome to join and learn.
I never saw fear on subs faces there only joy... No commands given or needed as they knelt and served. I was amazed by what I saw..there as they interacted so natural. I was given this advice and it has worked my entire life so I wish to pass it on.
Our duty as Dominants is to provide a safe, sane consensual environment for the growth of the submissive. Nothing else was needed to be said as it said all to Me.. I have used this knowledge My entire life knowing safe meant I would allow no harm to befall her be it mental ,physical , or psychological. Consensual that she would let me know through her actions and communication her willingness to expand on her limits , that I would not dictate them. Sane that I would have control of my own emotions and wants to allow this growth in a sub. All of this is based on trust and time, no one can give themselves without it, and as time and trust build needs change wants need to be explored willingly by her.
As a Dom I do not demand ....I accept her submission , I know other Doms know the joy of a sub kneeling at your feet not because she is commanded too..but because she wants , and desires to. To not have to say you will be punished , but find her at the door as you enter holding the whip... This is true Dominance it can not be given over night, no matter how you try to force or demand it. They say time heals all wounds, and it is true and time allows subs to grow.
I don’t crave or desire power, but something much more her trust that no matter what secrets she wishes to share , her desires she will be safe and no guilt be felt by her. .Some will say you are wrong to think this way ...you are being topped from bottom. This is not true as I am the Dom and once her trust and safety is known she gives all willingly. Some here have felt the power of just a look that you can give as a Dom....that will make her sink to her knees, not out of fear but because she herself has come to know her own needs. To witness tears of joy as she surpasses her own limits.

So why would I even want it to be about me ,I don’t