On the other hand, I would contend that anyone worth getting involved with should respect and care deeply for their (prospective) partner. Predatory sorts can be a problem, and even at the best of times communication can be difficult to maintain, especially if you need to be explicit about intimate desires of varying taboos.

Some people may be content with just physical satisfaction, however it is obtained. Some may want more than that.

Even when you look at humiliation, it is in a very literal sense not real. Or at least, one would hope not. What is erotic is the paradox involved- and the person you are doing it with. If it was as simple a matter as just being abused and made to feel bad, you might as well just go to work.*

If you are in a successful long-term relationship, a high level of respect is required. Less so if you are having a fling, or as a once-off, at least in theory; in practice, for the sake of one's own sanity it can only be hoped that your partner will not go too far. If they do care, at least to a point, they will take care of you within the agreed-upon bounds of the scene or relationship.

Being treated with utter contempt might be a hot fantasy for some. In reality, it is trouble waiting to happen, in much the same way as those who have non-consent fantasies or engage in such scenes do not want to be actually, truly raped.

There is still a level of role-play involved, even if it is not explicitly acknowledged, because to do so would destroy the illusion and thus eroticism of the scene, making it more or less pointless for the two (or however many, I guess) involved.

Ultimately, what it comes down to is excercising care when selecting a partner, be it for a short-term relationship or a longer-term one. SSC and RACK are useful discussion tools because their meaning is understood, but the general ethos behind them- especially that what is happening is mutually agreed upon and not intended or desired to cause lasting injury, be it physical or psychological (or, as it would seem in the original post, and Heavens forfend, both). BDSM play and relationships are not to be approached lightly.

*Joking. A little.