BTW Silla -- if it makes you feel any better, I'm a bit Switch, and I'm turned on both by having My Pet service Me and also by being tied up and forced to submit, but no matter what method is used to get Me to cum, I am only able to do it once, maybe twice, a day if that. I go through dry spells (am in one now, GRRRR) where no amount of coaxing can get My clit to perform, and I'm unable to achieve G-spot orgasms (which always annoyed My vanilla ex). So you're not alone in the sense that all women are different (as are all men; some guys can get a stiffie right after they've cum, others need hours to reload) and you just have to find what works for you.

One random tip: have you considered that it may be a result of being tense or nervous? I've found that I absolutely cannot cum if the light is on in the bedroom, if I'm totally bare and not covered by a blanket, etc etc because of issues I have with My appearance. If you're tense, that could be locking you up and keeping you from really having a good time -- and I could see how worrying about being able to perform might make you tense.

Just a thought.