Quote Originally Posted by puropuro View Post
Are there any subs out there who would be far happier if they knew their Dom wasn't going to inflict pain, or any Doms who feel the same way as me?
Yes. I am still new to the lifestyle, but I would be happier knowing that I wasn't going to be inflicted with pain.

But I do think there are different levels/layers when it comes to pain and bondage. For me, there is an appeal of having force used against you - being cornered, pinned down, shoved a bit, grabbed by the hair even, etc. I view this as being wholly different from spanking, caning, etc. For me, spanking is a punishment and NOT something I enjoy. My Dom enjoys doing it even when it's not a punishment, and it's something I struggle with because it conjures feelings of guilt and/or doing something wrong even when I'm doing exactly what he wants/says.

But, in the context of punishment, it isn't something a submissive necessarily wants, otherwise it wouldn't make a very good punishment.

Bondage, on the other hand, I view a bit differently. For me, it just adds another layer to things. While I'd have to trust the person completely before using it, bondage would be a way of giving up control and showing how much I truly trust the person I'm with. Especially for me, as I have a very hard time trusting someone completely like that.

Obviously everyone will fall along different places on the spectrum, some won't like pain at all or view it strictly as a punishment, others might not be able to imagine a relationship without regular use of bondage and/or infliction of pain. Most of us will probably fall somewhere in between.