Orgasm Control- The In's and Out's

[tessa]

I was talking with my friend ~waves~ and one of the topics that came up (pun intentional) was orgasm control. We differentiated it from cum restriction and/or denial, but we umm, well, kinda got all caught up in what we were talking about and didn't get very far with what it is and what it isn't.

So, if all you wonderful folks could contribute your ideas and thoughts about the controlling of orgasms, I would greatly appreciate the knowing. So would my friend. And she said she'd be willing to "do" anyone who offered insight here.

~allows time for her jaw to drop open~

Ok, she didn't really say that. But I just had this picture in my head of her eyes going wide with "oh she did not say that!" and I couldn't resist.

Anyway, back to orgasm control...pretty please?

tessa

[sipgirl]

For me personally if he denies me during a scene it becomes even more arousing. I know that eventualy he will grant me permission to cum and when he does I know how much more significantly intense it will be. Not only is the physical release going to be far more intense, but allowing him to have that power, giving him control over my actual body makes me hot!!!!Whew...ok time to go!!

[Ozme52]

For me personally if he denies me during a scene it becomes even more arousing. I know that eventualy he will grant me permission to cum and when he does I know how much more significantly intense it will be. Not only is the physical release going to be far more intense, but allowing him to have that power, giving him control over my actual body makes me hot!!!!Whew...ok time to go!!

Careful hun... because it he hears that... you may find out more about denial than you care to learn.

[pixie_dust]

Interesting topic!

Let's see...for me, I see orgasm control as being when I'm told, "Not until I tell you."

Of course, when you hear that whispered in your ear and is constantly in the front of your thoughts, it becomes sooo much more difficult to hold back. But, when you are finally given permission, "Now, cum for me!" the orgasm is a gozillion times more intense.

[tessa]

But, when you are finally given permission, "Now, cum for me!" the orgasm is a gozillion times more intense.

"Gozillion"- gosh, that's a big number! ~giggles~

This is exactly the insight I was hoping for. What it is really, how it affects the experience, that "control over my actual body"...

~thinks on that~

Ok, now I'm all "Whew!"

[rach]

Cum denial is for me not until i tell you, and for the most part I love it as it does make the orgasm very intense- but occasionally if i'm denied after being taken to the edge too many time i do actually have problems cumming and get very worked up- in a bad way! i seem to have a limit, but i think i'm geting a little better with practice.

[tessa]

but occasionally if i'm denied after being taken to the edge too many time i do actually have problems cumming and get very worked up- in a bad way!

I can imagine that happening to me. Not a good thing at all. Wonder how to avoid that?

Thanks, rach.

[Ozme52]

I can imagine that happening to me. Not a good thing at all. Wonder how to avoid that?

Thanks, rach.

The right dom... one who's paying attention.

[princess_of_pain]

...but occasionally if i'm denied after being taken to the edge too many time i do actually have problems cumming and get very worked up- in a bad way! i seem to have a limit, but i think i'm geting a little better with practice.

Good to know I'm not alone on this one...

[jeanne]

...And she said she'd be willing to "do" anyone who offered insight here.

~allows time for her jaw to drop open~

Ok, she didn't really say that. But I just had this picture in my head of her eyes going wide with "oh she did not say that!" and I couldn't resist.

OMG - Laughing my ass off! Darn right I didn't! You are bad. Bad, bad, bad. In a hilarious, fun, and yes - "oh she did not say that!" way. (But still, bad!)

With eyes still pretty wide open,
jeanne

[jeanne]

I was laughing so hard I forgot to respond to the actual question!

But, since moans, sighs, groans and those barely whispered pleas for permission just doesn't come across real well in the written word, I guess I have no comment at all. Unless I grab a thesaurus.

Ha!
jeanne

[tessa]

I was laughing so hard I forgot to respond to the actual question!

That's because when I'm bad, I'm so very, very good. ~^5's with the ghost of Mae West~

But, since moans, sighs, groans and those barely whispered pleas for permission just doesn't come across real well in the written word, I guess I have no comment at all. Unless I grab a thesaurus.

Ha!

Somebody spank her!

[Ozme52]

I was laughing so hard I forgot to respond to the actual question!

But, since moans, sighs, groans and those barely whispered pleas for permission just doesn't come across real well in the written word, I guess I have no comment at all. Unless I grab a thesaurus.

Ha!
jeanne

You j? At a loss for words? Hard to believe...

Under what cir-cum-stances might that happen?

[jeanne]

You j? At a loss for words? Hard to believe...

Under what cir-cum-stances might that happen?

I know. Shocking, isn't it? I think I hear ice cracking under my feet - is that hell freezing over? Why yes, yes it is.

Ice skating,
jeanne

[nk_lion]

Tessa, a suggestion, why don't you propose orgasm control to Daredevil, and tell him he can control the intervals between each one, for an hour, day, or perhaps maybe a month

[tessa]

Tessa, a suggestion, why don't you propose orgasm control to Daredevil, and tell him he can control the intervals between each one, for an hour, day, or perhaps maybe a month

NO thanks, nk. But how "wonderful" of you to think of such.

~huggles~

The right dom... one who's paying attention.

You said that just the way it needed to be said.

Now to the question...

tessa

Your orgasm is your most intimate expression of your sexuality, your sensuality. When you give yourself in service to a dom, what better way for him to express himself, than by taking full control of your gift to him.

All else is a by product.

Pleasure for the dom to use that control in a myriad of ways.
Pleasure for the sub to be so well used.

There is no better way. No better way to express it, control it or have it controlled. And your insight allows me to create a whole new "file" for something I already thought I knew all about. Can't wait to get to the filing. A most moanful answer, Oz. I do appreciate your words here.

jeanne? Hell only freezes over up there where it's too freakin cold. Come back down here where it's warm, we'll find some hell near a beach somewhere and we can go skinny-dippin.

I'm learning something here, people. Oh, stop with the gasps of surprise.

This is good learning. Thanks!

[Ozme52]

You said that just the way it needed to be said.


There is no better way. No better way to express it, control it or have it controlled. And your insight allows me to create a whole new "file" for something I already thought I knew all about. Can't wait to get to the filing. A most moanful answer, Oz. I do appreciate your words here.

So tessa... does that mean I win the prize? I get to 'do' jeanne?

[tessa]

So tessa... does that mean I win the prize? I get to 'do' jeanne?

(Just to keep those eyes of hers wide open and that luscious mouth slightly parted...ok, a lot parted)

Sure, Oz. You get to "do" jeanne. I mean, that's what she intimated to me (I just said I was kidding and she just said she didn't really say such a thing 'cause of the contest rules and all). So it's not like you need my permission for the go ahead...or the go behind, for that matter. The prize is yours (and oh, what a prize she is).

I really am bad. But so are you, Oz. I'm in grand company.

She's gonna kill me dead. Yes, she is.

Eh, she'll torture me first, so it's all good.

[Ozme52]

Eh, she'll torture me first, so it's all good.

Maybe we'll undertake to do that together...

[Ozme52]

Now to the question...

tessa

Your orgasm is your most intimate expression of your sexuality, your sensuality. When you give yourself in service to a dom, what better way for him to express himself, than by taking full control of your gift to him.

All else is a by product.

Pleasure for the dom to use that control in a myriad of ways.
Pleasure for the sub to be so well used.

[Logic1]

Your orgasm is your most intimate expression of your sexuality, your sensuality. When you give yourself in service to a dom, what better way for him to express himself, than by taking full control of your gift to him.

All else is a by product.

Pleasure for the dom to use that control in a myriad of ways.
Pleasure for the sub to be so well used.

Very well put Oz. I couldnt agree more.

[gagged_Louise]

I have a feeling you're bumping into a kind of semi-hard limit here, Tessa; you want to be owned in this devious sense and at the same time you're dead scared of it.
*grins and watches Tessa run*

[tessa]

I have a feeling you're bumping into a kind of semi-hard limit here, Tessa; you want to be owned in this devious sense and at the same time you're dead scared of it.
*grins and watches Tessa run*

Louise! Shh! ~shoves my secret back under the rug~

And a particular, not to be named, outfit, perhaps?

~nods lots~

[jeanne]

And a particular, not to be named, outfit, perhaps?

[gagged_Louise]

And a particular, not to be named, outfit, perhaps?

handcuffs and gag included.

[Ozme52]

[Ozme52]

<<== Humming to himself:

School days,
school days,
oh those lovely school days,
plaid skirts and stockings and tall high heels...

[moptop]

So - Tessa - might I suggest you go to Slothlands? I am quite certain you will encunter what you wish. Pun intended.

[tessa]

So - Tessa - might I suggest you go to Slothlands? I am quite certain you will encunter what you wish. Pun intended.

Thanks for that idea, moptop. I'm afraid I don't have time to blink right now, but when I can see my way clear to Slothlands, I'll put in my application and wait to hear if I'm accepted

Well, Red. You have given this idea some thought, I see. What a sweetie you are! ~huggles with boob squishage~ I also had OC confused with OD. hey, put that all together and you have OCD! Who knew all this was so closely related?? ~giggles~

And this part-

The physical demands of being kept in this highly-excited state for a time can induce a very pleasurable, almost euphoric state in the passive partner. A caring active partner will also usually derive pleasure from witnessing his/her partner in such an excited state.

Orgasm control requires a high degree of skill on the part of the active partner, enough familiarity to be able to correctly react to their partner's responses, and to get the intensity and timing of the stimulation just right. If there is too little stimulation or if it is reduced too soon the experience is not so intense. Too much stimulation or for too long allows the passive partner to reach the 'tipping point', causing orgasm to occur too early. The real skill lies in knowing one's partner well enough to be able to keep them hovering almost on the very edge of orgasm, thereby maximizing the experience.

-goes along well with what Oz says. "A good Dom pays attention". He said the same thing, just in a much more concise way.

Hey, Oz? Did you write that article for Wikipedia? Letting them have all your words, are you?? And hey! Stay away from my kink, would you?!?

Let me know if I've captured it properly.

Oh my. My, my! ~fans self~ Yeah, you captured it alright. Locked it up tight, too. ~moans a little bit~ Wow.

Hey Red, did you read excerpt? If not, don't! You'll end up having one of those "scientific purposes" happen. And I'm not SO bad. Am I?? By the way, we really need to talk about female ejaculation some more. ~nods lots~

I could have sat back with a big grin on my face... but I also heard/read her dispair. So I called her and commanded her to be obedient and cum when ever I gave permission whether I was present or not. I didn't let her cum while I was on the phone. That would have reinforced the problem.

Brilliant. And I use that word only when warranted. Ask Tom. And thanks for sharing your perspective, Oz. It is incredibly helpful.

[Euryleia]

I just found this thread. I recently began posting a new story to the library that uses orgasm control as a teaching point. I'm putting an exerpt from 'Boss Lady' here. Let me know if I've captured it properly. :0

*****

“I want you here.” Rachel pointed at a spot on the carpet that was bathed in sunlight from the window. “I want you to touch yourself. Start with your breasts. Lift them toward me and stroke them as you would want a lover to touch them.”

Amy quickly obeyed. She ran her palms over her nipples, which hardened quickly under the touch and Rachel’s gaze. She pinched the nubs until they ached. Her hips were thrusting into the air, searching for a touch.

“Bring your hands lower. No, don’t touch your cunt yet. Slide your hands over your skin. Touch your belly and legs. Doesn’t that feel good? Now, run your fingertips over your butt. Can you still feel where I spanked you yesterday? Good. You can stroke your inner thighs now. You’re wet, aren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ve been wet all day.”

“I know you have. Open yourself to me. I want to see how hard you are.”

Amy pulled her pussy apart. She looked down and was amazed at how prominent her clitoris was. She could almost see it throbbing with need.

“You may touch it. Keep holding yourself open. I want to see, too.”

In no time at all, Amy was panting and writing. “Please, please, may I come?” she begged.

“Not yet.” Rachel watched her pet. She waited until Amy was almost bent over as her muscles clenched. “You may come,” she said.

She watched in fascination as Amy almost collapsed from her orgasm. She ordered Amy to keep going, even though the one orgasm satisfied the younger woman. She wanted to see how many she could get out of Amy. She came again and then again, and was ordered to keep going when she paused to catch her breath.

“Please let me stop.”

“First you beg to come, and then you beg to stop. I'm in charge. Keep going.”

Amy obeyed, losing track of how many orgasms she had. She just knew that her delicate tissue was quickly becoming too sensitive and that her pleasure was getting very close to pain.

“You may stop.” Rachel walked over to her. “Remember this lesson. I’m doing you a favor by controlling your orgasms.”

Shakily, Amy raised her head. “I don’t understand.”

“Wasn’t that first climax wonderful?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“That’s because you had to wait for it. Those other weren’t as good. In fact, some of them might have even painful. Weren’t they?” she asked.

“They weren’t as much fun,” admitted Amy.

“No. By my controlling when you release, your experiences will be that much more intense. That is much better, isn’t it? If you came all the time, it would mean nothing. Just like those final orgasms.” Rachel tickled the back of Amy’s neck. “You should thank me now.”

Amy shivered. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Rachel leaned back in her chair and patted her thigh. “Don’t you think you need to come over here and show me how thankful you are?”

End excerpt.