Is your marriage a happy one?
i like to think so. no one has the perfect marriage, but yes, we are happy and love each other dearly. he knows about everything i do online and he's always been fine with it. we've been together for nearly 10 years now and have 2 children. i know he even comes online sometimes to talk with women. it doesn't bother me one bit. as long as we are honest with each other, that is all that matters.
Why do you do it?
he knows i need BDSM in my life. we'd divorced at one point and i had a couple of BDSM relationships. after those ended, i tried to go back to my vanilla life with my hubby. i realized it was impossible for me to do. the more i tried to forget about my submissiveness, the more i dwelled on it and the more i craved it. i swear it's like a drug...the more you get...the more you want, and when you don't get it at all, boy do the withdrawals suck! luckily we were able to open up to each other this time around and have talked countless hours on the topic. i now consider him to be vanilla with a lil kinky side ~grins~ he's really not into the whole deal, but every now and then he'll fancy himself a Dominant. you'll never find me complaining!
Would you leave your spouse for your D/s partner?
never. without a question. when i am online, i don't lie to anyone about being married. i am very upfront with that knowledge. just as i wouldn't want to lie to my husband, i wouldn't want to mislead anyone i met online.
Would you meet them in r/l?
no, i would not.
Is is cheating?
as someone else pointed out, i think it was Gregsta, it becomes cheating when your conscience tells you so. how can it be cheating if both spouses know and talk about the other's online activities?
When does it become cheating?
the cheating begins when you try to hide things from your spouse. but that is just my opinion. there are different levels of cheating. i know some people would say cheating is cheating and that's final. but if i were a clueless spouse and found out my husband was exchanging erotic emails with another woman online...as opposed to him actually going out and screwing another woman....yeah...i'd be a little less upset!