Thanks for the replies so far. But I think I've miscommunicated. I am not concerned that my fantasies are not "normal." "Normalcy" is not a value for me.

I take it the way you guys have interpreted my original post is as saying something like "In every other way, I'm normal, so why am I not normal in my sex fantasy life?" I take it this is how you read what I called my "perplexity." But that was not what I meant. Rather, its just that whereas pretty much everything else I know about myself I am able to integrate into a coherent picture or story about myself, my sex fantasy life stands apart. Its like that constitutes a story wholly unrelated to the story that makes up my public and social life. This is what perplexes me. I've integrated everything together, except for this one thing. Yet there's no denying: It's all me.

Also, I should note, I do not find in myself any particularly strong desire to integrate this further aspect of myself into the larger story of myself. That is, in fact, a little perplexing in itself. But there it is.

TomofSweden, you can probably replace my talk of "story" above with some appropriate locution concerning "interpretation," and you'll see that Nietzsche's thought has indeed already done some work in helping me articulate the position I find myself in. The other authors you mentioned, I have not read. But I hope you see now that my concern isn't for "normalcy" but rather I simply am (as I said in my OP) perplexed by the situation in which I find myself, and interested in working through that perplexity somehow. I have no preconceptions as to what the end of such a working-through should look like.

Next topic:

I do not understand Ozme's post and the ones following upon it. What is it you guys are saying is "true" about the situation he depicts? The situation does not appear to me to be appealing at all. (I say this both as my "public" "self" and as the "self" who fantasizes.) Does this mean that I've not really got BDSM in mind after all?

Mumei