What an awesome first post, Mumei! Should lead to some interesting thoughts. My bdsm interest totally doesn't fit with the rest of my views of myself as a strong, independent, intelligent, equal (if not superior) woman. Actually, those are not just my views, that is who I am. In most of my life, I am all about women having equal opportunities and mental abilities and not sacrificing their lives for men. So where does the desire to submit come from? Why does submission increase my pleasure? Perhaps it is strength seeking strength in another. Perhaps it is a safe way (since my bdsm interest is strictly limited to the bedroom) to relax and take a break from being the person I demand of myself. Perhaps Ozme is right, and a bit of the cavewoman who sought safety by submitting to the caveman still exists in my dna and seeks release in this limited way. I don't know, but I sure am interested to learn what others think - especially the resident shrinks. But don't worry, Mumie, just because the caveman scenario turns you off (it totally turns me off), that bdsm isn't for you. There seems to be as many bsdm variations as there are bsdm relationship. Take as much or as little as works for you.

fantassy