I will say something scary in turn:

Say someone is traumatized through physical or sexual abuse.

Say this person relives that abuse in his/her relationships as an adult.

Say, though, that the "relived" experience is (or strives to be) in a context of trust and love, as opposed to the original experience which was in a context of pure fear and alienation?

Say, even, that there is an unmistakable psychological connection between the original experience and the relived experiences.

Then my question is: Is it necessarily bad to pursue such relived experiences? Mightn't such relationships be just as "healthy" as any other? (I.e., as "healthy" as non-bdsm-y relationships, and as "healthy" as bdsm-y relationships not rooted in past abuse?)

I mean, when you put it this way, it doesn't sound so bad: "I've found a way to experience what once was a source of suffering and trauma for me, in a new way, a way genuinely formed out of love, respect and trust."

Can there be other, non-controversial examples of something like this being regarded as healthy and good? Are there any cases where we tend to "naturally, normally" think of reliving something in a new and better context as something worth pursuing?

mumei