Talking to him doesn't really seem to help. A lot of it is the simple fact that he can't (or won't...or hasn't) try. I feel like overall I am just whining, but I need to get it out in the open.

I appreciate your input, and I understand what you mean. Everyone's journey is different. But when I said that he doesn't have any sexual "gratification" from it, I guess I meant that he doesn't get turned on by it. It's not his "thing". Having me walk around with a vibrator in my pussy does nothing for him physically, so I think that's what the problem is.

I like having that sense of someone controlling me completely. When I said that I needed to be controlled completely at least once, his response was "Well, what about the other night? When I tied you up...".... =/ I guess that would have worked for me a year ago, when I was completely new to all of this, but now I just crave more.

I told him tonight that I love just "making love" to him. I really do. There are those times that you just don't want to be whipped, spanked, and have it rough (well...me anyway, "you" is rather presumptuous..heh).

I think the fact that we can't reach the level that I crave is straining our relationship. Though I am inexperienced enough not to be able to tell him exactly what I want, and if I did know....I think that giving him each step would take away from it, sorta...