Quote Originally Posted by Dorkalicious View Post

I told him tonight that I love just "making love" to him. I really do. There are those times that you just don't want to be whipped, spanked, and have it rough (well...me anyway, "you" is rather presumptuous..heh).

I think the fact that we can't reach the level that I crave is straining our relationship. Though I am inexperienced enough not to be able to tell him exactly what I want, and if I did know....I think that giving him each step would take away from it, sorta...
Well I think you are on the way to knowing what you want you have stated some things here. The thing you need to do is to express it. There were other very good points made in that there is no right or wrong way to have any type of relationship, it is what works for both people. I wonder too you have mentioned that his motivations in the way you play together are very important to you, eg the vibrator in public for you = sexual gratification and for him = control. Why is it so importand that he has the same motives. For him the control may be as important as the sexual part is for you. I would get a charge out of knowing I would be doing something he wanted and that if that is having control over my orgasim in public whatever his motives it would still get me hot. And what if his sexual charge comes from the control . I know I get very hot about having control at times. Perhaps if you and he were able to talk more about that you could both understand each others wants better too. Good Luck