This figuring it out thing can be such an overwhelming process. "Be careful what you wish for...you just may get it" pops to mind.

In my relationship with my husband, for whatever reasons, we both waited way too many years to speak up about our true desires. But now that we have, the lines of communication are open and flowing...slowly, but I am so very grateful for any step in this direction, it doesn't matter. The wonderful people here have told me that it will take time. I am willing to wait because as lily said, if it's too easy, it's probably not worth it.

But I think I understand, somewhat, the thought behind Dorkalicious' comment. Is it that you aren't getting a sense of his passion for all this? Is that what you're saying? For me, I am a responder...I feed off his wants and needs. His desires become mine instantly just because I sense them from him. It doesn't have to be my big need, but because it is his, I want it for him more than he probably wanted it for himself in the first place. Knowing he's receiving a great amount of pleasure from whatever the activity is more than enough for me. If I don't sense that passion, I tend to be left wanting. Does that make any sense? I'm a little bit worried that it is crystal clear to me.

What I am finding out as we talk and discover all these new things is that he can receive his pleasure from doing what I want. ~blank look~ He explained to me that the satisfaction I take in certain activities makes him satisfied as well. But since I know it may not be "his thing", I don't get as much pleasure from it as I maybe I would if I thought he was as passionate about the activity as me. He has been trying to help me understnd this concept. Not an easy task.

I'm rambling, I realize, but I am still new to this and trying to sort my mind out as well as offer any help I can.

tessa