D:
I understand what it is to be in vanilla r/ships and be unfulfilled. (I'm out of those thankfully) It's not easy I know.
I agree that if you are more sexual, the more creative you are because you are just sort of more into it...more open. Maybe he is just not as knowledgeable as you and feels a bit intimidated? What about maybe leaving a book around for him to look at, or even chatting about an article you read (the one posted), or just leave it up to him to become informed...Or some information on how a submissive mind works might help too. He might be wondering why you are into all this, not understanding and feeling out of sorts and somewhat threatened.

Good luck!