I would like to start off by thanking lily for the article! I didn't last night I'm very sorry. It is very very informative...It helped me understand more of what might be going on.

Second, I was very very tired last night, not to mention upset. I had just gotten home (and by the time I logged on I believe it was close to midnight). I had tried breaking up with him again last night (it seems like I have tried too many times). I can't let it go. It's so unbelievably hard; I have no experience with ending relationships....Not that I honestly want that experience. There are so many things that just really bother me about him:

-He can go days without talking to me and not be bothered by it. There are a lot of guys out there like this, I'm sure.
-He is very immature at times (what guy isn't?)
-I don't feel like I can have a real conversation with him, and much less get an opinion out of him about anything unless it directly affects him (although, sometimes even then he doesn't have one)
-This is going to sound very whiney: I haven't received anything random from him since the first month of our relationship and we are going on two years (for example flowers, chocolate, a card.....any sort of romantic little thing...I'm a die hard romantic =/). I often find myself going through a store and running across something he'd like, pick it up, almost buy it...then back out because I feel like I am switching the roles.

Then of course you get into the sex: (THIS MIGHT BE TMI FOR YOU)

-I don't think I have had an orgasm by him for...............
-I read stories (the one by Jaina about X-mas made me nearly cry btw, because it seems so realistic!), I read posts here, I read true life experiences by others here....I'm jealous. I'll admit it. I know that I am submissive...


-I find myself in the position that article stated:
She is in control: the situation that she wants least.

But even in all this negativity, I still want to be with him. Widget and lily, you are probably right. The fact that he doesn't feel any real sexual connection to being dominant, it probably shouldn't bother me since I am getting dominated -- if that was the case anyway. If he actually was doing those things, than yes...I don't think I would be bothered. Yes, he ties me up....I need more. I've told him this. I have the patience right now to see what happens, because he says that he will do more (in my eyes, we will be taking baby steps, though if that is the case...as long as we get to the end, I will be happy...). I honestly don't see it happening, but maybe just maybe I am wrong.

*crosses fingers*

I really hope so.

Thank you all for your responses