My perspective.

there are a variety of things that go into making this happen. As these posts all bring out, there is a lot of confusion in this life, and even in real life.

I have been reading this thread almost from the beginning, and keep wondering if what I have to say will kake any difference in the long run. I know that personally, I just hate what is happening so much at times that i sanp out at those who are close to me. i would think this would be magnified for a sub, which is why I always strive to make things as easy as possible for them by learning as much about them as possible.

In spite of this, I occasionally miss the signs that she gives, and I walk into something. i then have to deal with that, with her not being happy about what happened, and the fact that I am the one that blew it. If I had been paying attention, I could have given her the release that she needed, rather than force her to show me what she needed.

So, concious or unconcious. Both and neither, and sometimes one or the other. Depends, as has been said, on the situation, the sub, and the Dom/me.