Well thank you ceegee for the thread! I had no idea it was a term, much less a hotly debated one, and I've just received a lot of insight based on the replies so far. It would seem to me that when my online sub makes a suggestion, I take it under advisement because the whole purpose is for both of us to enjoy ourselves. My sub likes to come from a position of reliance, so if she makes a request, it is up to me to decide if it'll be good for her or not. She accepts my choices even if I choose poorly, but that means she doesn't tftb, doesn't it? Or was the initial request her attempt at doing it?