How far do you go?

[rce]

...Those who choose not to use a safeword must make that choice themselves: however that choice must be both informed and consensual and the decision should be reached by BOTH parties. It must never be assumed by one or the other.

One of the greatest privileges that a dominant can be charged with is the responsibility to ensure the well-being of his submissive (both mental and physical) and ignoring such obvious signals as you describe for one's own self gratification, and then justifying those actions by saying "that's what she actually wanted" signifies, in my opinion, a real need to look at how such a relationship is managed...

Let me add that we have never had safe words, neither before nor after that event. It just has never been an issue. To me, safe words takes away the edge. If you know your sub, you need no safe word, unless you play really dangerous games. We have never done that.