Lucyboy, I am replying with anger. Anger at those who have made you feel unwanted or unaccepted because your tastes are different from theirs.

You refer to the 'rules' of BDSM - where are these rules, and who wrote them? I know there are certain schools of thought regarding it, and they have their own guidelines, and if you follow those then you can consider yourself to be within their fold. I am yet to hear of any such guidelines covering the whole spectrum of BDSM.

There is perhaps a place elsewhere on the forum for a discussion of some of the different philosophies which lurk under the BDSM umbrella, but this is not it.

I read your post fascinated, you are obviously an intelligent sensitive man who has come to a reasoned assessment of what you desire. I am sure your woman is out there, and when she finds you will be overjoyed at doing so, and it will not matter to either of you what titles others choose to give you.

Hugs and hoping you find this virtual community of real people more accepting than some others you spoken out into.

cariad