I agree with cariad. I am replying with anger, and it's anger to those who made you feel unwanted and like you're not a true submissive. Just because you don't like the toys and whips and the extreme aspects of BDSM doesn't mean by a long shot that you're not a submissive.

In my opinion you've been poisoned against us by a group of "narrow minded bdsmers". BDSM is what -you- choose to make it. I've been a submissve all of my life and am just now getting to really know myself as such. I've always wanted me to throw me down and fuck me senseless, but now spanking and bondage and other things appeal to me too.

And you're completely right that bossy girls turn into shy girls around puberty. I don't know why it happens, but it does. I think it has to do with that old fashioned up bringing that men are somehow superior to women... and that women are supposed to be helpless I can still command a crowd and be bossy and domineering, but I know in my heart that I live to serve.

There are sterotypes in the bdsm world as IDCrewDawg said, but there are many of us who just like living in a world of kink. I think you might be one of us. These people on the forums are nicer than some of my real life friends and I love each and every one of them dearly. Stick around and even post a personal - you might find the woman of your dreams here.

I personally think that to be in a BDSM relationship, you have to realise that the people involved are equals. It takes love and trust and commitment to really make things work.

We all have different kinks that we're in to. From what I understand you want a strong dominating woman to exact her will on you in a sexual way. She doesn't have to humiliate you or stomp on your bits to get you off. I think you're probably the most basic form of a male submissive. I think that's great too.

I wish you lots of love and luck in your search for your perfect woman. I really hope that you find her. And if you choose to stick around here, you might realise what a great bunch of people there are, as I have. You might even find your woman here. Who knows? We might be that group that's completely on the opposite end of the spectrum from the bdsmers that you've met along your journey.

Thank you for voicing your feelings and I hope to see other's opinions on what you have said.