Thankyou for you're replies all of you. Wow this is refreshing. Whenever I have raised these subjects on other forums I usually receive a blizzard of anger from Dominant women who assume that I don't know what I'm talking about, and have no idea of what it is to be truly sub.

I live in London UK which I would have thought being such a big modern city would be very open but unfortunately not. It's probably a cultural thing. I'm currently living in Thailand which although lacks a bdsm scene is just so relaxed. If I smile at a woman out here she smiles back whereas in London as a single male you are viewed with suspicion at all times by women on the scene or in the wider vanilla community. Women at home have an air of aloof unapproachability about them, there is about them that vibe that says I'm fabulous and confident so you better be or "don't even bother"

As you can imagine for someone with such a potentially problematic sexuality this makes any chance of having confidence when aproaching women very difficult.

I spose that it is not only London any big western city would be the same. I'm sure the culture in New York or Paris would be the same.

The attitude of most of the women on the bdsm scene I have met has been one of combative selection, whereby you will be made to feel unwelcome until you can prove that you're are either outstandingly masterful or totally submissive from the outset.

I don't know if the no sex rule is only a London thing but it seems you have all encountered this line of thinking. I just wonder why this rule only applies to us male submissives?

A male dom is entitled to have sexual urges, female subs are entitled to desire a sexual core to their submission whether they be lesbian or straight. Female Dommes are expected to have a sexuality although most of the female Dommes I have met reserve sex for vanilla guys or even a dominant male partner.

It only seems to be male subs that have this yolk around our necks. It makes you feel a bit like an untouchable.

Recently I have started dressing up as a girl and I'm not nearly as marginalized. Do you think it might have something to do with guys sexual essence being tied to an active sexuality?

I mean a Dominant or submissive woman can look gorgeous but us blokes don't seem to have that aesthetic quality and without an active sexuality we in some way don't have much to offer. Neither super sexy looks and fabulous clothes or a drive to fuck like a train. Without either asset women lose interest. I'm just speculating. I wonder what you guys think?

I have been told that it is totally biological that female sexuality is so tightly bound to child rearing that subconsciously women only have sexual partnerships with men who can bring some kind of masculinity and strength to the relationship.

It is funny this is not only something unique to the bdsm scene most bisexual women who have profiles on the net start by saying ''NO MEN"

Anyway I'm feeling much more positive since I started dressing as a girl, it seems to be opening doors.....