Why do most subs come with an abused background? Don't abuse them

[anonymouse]

I do sometimes wonder that perhaps if I didn’t suffer what I suffered, then would this part of me never have surfaced or even existed, would I be better off for it…
I doubt I could answer…

"None of us can change the past nor invent the future. The only time over which we have any true control at all is the present." I think it was Tolstoy who originally said that and it's something I've found to be reassuring at times of crisis.

The original poster made a sweeping generalization quite likely with the intention of trolling for an argument. My parents were very old fashioned and strict when I was growing up, but I'd never say they were at any time ever 'abusive'. I'd be surprised if there weren't a lot of others of my generation who were raised with similar strictness - I know a lot of my friends growing up were. I hated being spanked as a child so I'd have to say that my submission in adult life has little (if anything) to do with those childhood experiences. I personally don't see or feel any connection between the two.

It's also been my experience that submissives from abusive backgrounds are in the minority. Most I know are well-adjusted, educated professionals and their influence on those who have come into the scene with emotional problems is always profoundly positive. Sure, predators exist, but they too are in the minority - at least they are in real life.

For those here who might have had bad experiences in the past, my heart goes out to you. I always hope my positive view of the scene and life in general is contagious.

[Warbaby1943]

It's also been my experience that submissives from abusive backgrounds are in the minority.

Maybe a poll is in order if there is enough interest for anyone to start one.

It sould incorporate Dom/mes too so that subs are not singled out. Easy way to end the debate without an argument in my opinion.