I know that I am a sub whether or not I have a Dom, and I believe that applies to many, if not most or all subs. It is not something I have a choice about. Neither is it something which I want to change, it is part of me which I have come to terms with and embraced.

Yes, I have also been abused, and I would venture to suggest that was because I was giving out submissive signals long before I was aware of such things.

One of the things which has helped me to recover from that abuse is a loving and supportive Dom. From within that relationship I am able to see how the significant physical pain which he inflicts on me is something good and how the much more minor physical pain, although severe mental and emotional pain and confusion which was inflicted on me by my abuser was bad pain.

Without my good Dom, it would have taken me much longer to reach that understanding.

I have much greater concerns about abused people taking on a Dominant role before they have worked through issues of revenge and unforgiveness. That, I believe, is when, sometimes, there can be a real danger.

cariad