i think i posted the above too early into readin this thread.
Don't worry about it. It just goes to show that sometimes relationships work out and sometimes they don't whether online or off. I could have put my experiences with Rhabbi in a whole other thread, but I really did want to see what I had been learning along the way.

Quote Originally Posted by Noontide View Post
mishka and Wolfscout, it's so rare to find the kind of comfortable togetherness that you two seem to have found. the fulfillment and the trust!!

you know since joining the forum, i have been reading about online relationships. there are ads, people sharing about what they get out of it. it seems so alien to me. i was touched by your sharing and others as well, but when i tried to see if i could feel the same, it felt.... blank i guess is the word that describes it.

i've had online friends before, but never a relationship. not for lack of oppurtunity, but simply a lack of a response for me. maybe it just wasn't the right people....

i keep hoping that the "right person" that i have in my life somehow magically discovers a subtle ignored desire to dominate and we find a whole new level in our relationship!! sometimes though i just feel hopeless and wonder why i'm even trying to find out more about this aspect of me.... feel like suppressing it and just spending all my energy on 10000 other projects!!

then i remind myself, this is me, my life, my desires, needs, fulfillment and at the very least i owe myself to find out more.

but sometimes i curse myself for just driving myself crazy with all the questions, the uncertainity ....

i think i'm more confused than i was when i joined!!
I never thought I'd like an online relationship, apart from a casual friendship, either. But I started emailing a friend, then our conversations turned to more flirting, we talked about relationships, intimacy, etc etc, and became closer. It worked out very naturally. Not forced. That's the important part. It lasted quite a while and when other parts of our offline life called for our attention, we ended up staying friends instead.

Some don't work romantically, but friendship is just as true online as off. Perhaps that can be a sticking point. It's not "real". There's a lot of trust involved when you can't see the other side of the monitor for sure. I can assure you, it is very real. The love, kindness, anger and hurt are very much felt...that makes the relationships real.

Online is the only place I was able to truly look at my desires being a sub. It makes me feel safe being a sub. It is ok to learn and explore and taste and touch. If this, the internet, is the medium then go carefully and warmly into it. Don't curse yourself. I did it to myself for too long and all it does is leave you just as frustrated and this hole inside you in the end.

I hope you'll be gentle with yourself and enjoy the journey.