MY goodness - I'm both sad and glad I didn't find this thread before today. I've been on cum restriction - defining that as my orgasms are his, my playing is his, not to happen if he's not around - for - well, since May. I've also been on cum denial for a lot of that time - edging exercises or vaginal muscle exercises.

I was set free for 3 weeks while he went on holiday - but, well, I only cracked once, I kept myself for him otherwise.

I have just (last night) finished a 16 day stint of cum denial, during which he has put me through some of the most excruciating and arousing and difficult stuff in the world ever. That's the longest I've had to go. Yes, I ended up in tears, begging him to let me cum or stop. He was so nice. He let me stop. *fumes, growls, wails*

But last night, we were due to see eachother (and that is one of the reasons he'd been working me up quite so hard; bastard bastard bastard) and he had to cancel. So he came on line and - after having made me work first - let me cum as much as I liked, any way I liked.

I needed it very, very badly. But I was also very proud of myself, for having managed to hold off despite severe provocation (and believe me, there had been some very seriously erotic stuff going on); and I was fascinated by my own reaction, when I broke down and wept and begged and grovelled... completely not like me at all. I have never been like that before. Some sort of barrier broke in me. He was very proud of me, too. Oh, not the grovelling bit, lol. But - I think he still enjoyed it!!

The only down side was he was staying at friends and his modem automatically shut off at midnight, just when I was in the middle of my first free wonderful orgasm - I was so disappointed when I finally looked at the screen again (yeah, bit carried away...) and he'd gone! And, I knew I wouldn't be able to carry on as much as I'd have liked without him.

Well... I did manage one more... it was a complete blinder But only because I knew he wouldn't mind, and wanted me to have my pleasure.

Is this helping Mishka? Hmmm - I don't know. Just that... I have learnt from it. Learnt just what a mess I can get into! Learnt that I can still over-come it. Learnt that he is aware and does care (I mean I knew that, but I know it more). Learnt... that I don't want to cum without him. My orgasms are his. They are better with him, for him. I cum much more than when I used to just masturbate alone. Even the extra one I took once he'd gone, was only after some 20 minutes deliberating, and deciding that he really had meant it when he'd said I could cum as much as I liked, how I liked. And of course I told him about it.

I can sometimes find it difficult to cum, or to cum in a satisfying manner, when I've been on cum restriction without denial. Denial makes it... oh my... so very very good when you finally get it! You just... open yourself totally.

The main thing is - don't listen to Oz!! DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM. HE IS EVIL!!