Orgasm Control- The In's and Out's

[gagged_Louise]

Maybe we'll undertake to do that together...

You should ask moptop rather than jeanne to assist in this Oz, she has a definite switch streak.

[tessa]

Now how did this turn into "torture tessa" time??

Oh yeah, I'm bad. That's how.

~sneaks out before it gets crazy~

[jeanne]

Now how did this turn into "torture tessa" time??

Oh yeah, I'm bad. That's how.

~sneaks out before it gets crazy~

Yes. Yes you are. "torture tessa" time? Hmmm, I'd like to see that for myself. Why yes I would.

[tessa]

Yes. Yes you are. "torture tessa" time? Hmmm, I'd like to see that for myself. Why yes I would.

Now who's the bad one, hmm?? jeanne is, that's who!

I'd like to see that too, actually, self-voyeur that I am. I'll bring the camera, okie dokie?

[moptop]

You should ask moptop rather than jeanne to assist in this Oz, she has a definite switch streak.

Thanks, Louise! Yes, and I'm looking for more practice. Ladies... feel free to visit me. My doors are open. And no doubt various other things as well.

I totally agree with Louise that Tessa is coming up a soft limit here - after all, in the previous thread, she managed to go as far as getting her master to come along and say he wouldn't use cum restriction - but she opens up this thread all on her ownsome - of course, you can give control of your orgasms without cum restriction cumming into the affair! Orgasm overload, Tessa?

As to the question... orgasm control. It is not specifically about denial or permission. It is not specifically about restriction, or over-load. It is not about on-demand, on-command. It is all of those things, but the fundamental thing is - your orgasms belong to him (or her). You give that control over to him/her, as their most fundamental and basic right of ownership.

The actual practice of it all - well, it doesn't happen just like that, no - not for me, anyway. I mean, some people may find they can cum on demand with no effort at all - I am no-where near that! Especially if previously much denied, like rach. You plateau, and getting yourself off that plateau can be hard.

Oz - you said it was about 'the right dom... one who's paying attention'. That makes me think that the permission thing (or maybe at least during the training stage) is actually about the dom saying yes, when it is inevitable or necessary anyway - not quite sure what I'm thinking there - yes, the dom needs to know the sub well enough to know when she's going to get to that plateau, I suppose. Don't know - further detail on what you're paying attention to would be great?

Some people may find that in a scene they can hand over that control quite happily, but out of a scene it is a real struggle: they are not supposed to make themselves cum without his/her presence, for example - and find they just can't resist a play...

Some people may find cum restriction drives them totally bonkers, especially with teasing, and they can't cope with it for very long (break down or cave in and break the rule).

Etc etc...

I am still breaking the rules - oh my, am I ever... in serious trouble right now, in fact. Nevertheless, I am proud that he wishes to own my orgasms and control this most basic and beautiful part of me. I give them to him willingly, except... the flesh is weak.

[tessa]

I totally agree with Louise that Tessa is coming up a soft limit here - after all, in the previous thread, she managed to go as far as getting her master to come along and say he wouldn't use cum restriction - but she opens up this thread all on her ownsome - of course, you can give control of your orgasms without cum restriction cumming into the affair! Orgasm overload, Tessa?

Smart, smart lady, moptop.

As to the question... orgasm control. It is not specifically about denial or permission. It is not specifically about restriction, or over-load. It is not about on-demand, on-command. It is all of those things, but the fundamental thing is - your orgasms belong to him (or her). You give that control over to him/her, as their most fundamental and basic right of ownership.

Wow. Wonderful insight here. You do make me think, my friend.

<<== Humming to himself:

School days,
school days,
oh those lovely school days,
plaid skirts and stockings and tall high heels

Nice song. While I know your words work for you and yours, here's my version. Maybe we can put the two together and have one hell of a songtime?

School days, school days.
Dear old Golden Ruler days.
Spanking and cumming and little licks,
Taught to the tune of the hick'ry stick.

Now that's a school I want to go to. Yes, mmmhmm.

~giggles wildly~

[Ozme52]

Smart, smart lady, moptop.


Wow. Wonderful insight here. You do make me think, my friend.


Nice song. While I know your words work for you and yours, here's my version. Maybe we can put the two together and have one hell of a songtime?

School days, school days.
Dear old Golden Ruler days.
Spanking and cumming and little licks,
Taught to the tune of the hick'ry stick.

Now that's a school I want to go to. Yes, mmmhmm.

~giggles wildly~

I knew I'd omitted a verse. Now I can finish mine.

School days, school days,
Oh those lovely school days,
Plaid skirts and stockings and tall high heels,
Over my knees, spanked until she squeals...

Now... let's talk about the medical pre-entrance exam...

[Ozme52]

Oz - you said it was about 'the right dom... one who's paying attention'. That makes me think that the permission thing (or maybe at least during the training stage) is actually about the dom saying yes, when it is inevitable or necessary anyway - not quite sure what I'm thinking there - yes, the dom needs to know the sub well enough to know when she's going to get to that plateau, I suppose. Don't know - further detail on what you're paying attention to would be great?

==> Perhaps sometimes but I was referring more to the sub's personality and emotional needs. It's all too easy to treat submissives all the same. To have a "routine" that you put them all through. But that approach is callous.

Yes, I do have some ritual exercises... but "the dom who pays attention" is paying attention to the submissive's individual needs.

Knowing when to apply more pressure, when to back off. When to withhold (and yes for how long) and when to reward. Even knowing how much attention she requires to not be tempted to disobey.

Addressing another concern mentioned... I had a sub whose orgasms were very dear to her. It took her a long time to find her ability to have them. So when, after several play sessions during which I was training her responsiveness to me, my voice, my presence, she wrote me that she could no longer cum without me and had tried... tried several times in fact.

I could have sat back with a big grin on my face... but I also heard/read her dispair. So I called her and commanded her to be obedient and cum when ever I gave permission whether I was present or not. I didn't let her cum while I was on the phone. That would have reinforced the problem. Instead I gave her a whole day of unattended playtime... and she is again very able to please herself... and all the more mine for returning it to her.

The actual practice of it all - well, it doesn't happen just like that, no - not for me, anyway. I mean, some people may find they can cum on demand with no effort at all - I am no-where near that! Especially if previously much denied, like rach. You plateau, and getting yourself off that plateau can be hard.

An interesting observation moptop... All I can say is I continually hear that and continue to disprove it. Timing is crucial. A sense of the sub-ject's mental state and state of satisfaction is crucial. Once again... paying attention...

I'll tell you what thrills me. After a long play session... in the shower, washing up, I get soaped, rinsed, hair washed, conditioned. I turn, gaze into her eyes, lean in, shift my stance to "invade" her personal space (yes even in a shower you have personal space) and whisper in her ear. What thrills me? The shock in her eyes... the way her mouth ovals as she gasps "Oh!" as her body totally surprises her... cumming... and then I tell her I won't let her fall and her orgasm overwhelms her.

After that... my voice is in her head.

[Hime]

I'll tell you what thrills me. After a long play session... in the shower, washing up, I get soaped, rinsed, hair washed, conditioned. I turn, gaze into her eyes, lean in, shift my stance to "invade" her personal space (yes even in a shower you have personal space) and whisper in her ear. What thrills me? The shock in her eyes... the way her mouth ovals as she gasps "Oh!" as her body totally surprises her... cumming... and then I tell her I won't let her fall and her orgasm overwhelms her.

After that... my voice is in her head.

um, wow. I think when my husband gets home I'll suggest that we need a shower.

I would like to know more about the orgasm-on-demand aspect of this conversation, honestly. During sex we often play the "not until I tell you" game, and I can cum on demand because I've been needing to for a while already. But I've heard about people who can cum on a vocal cue or from non-direct stimulation (one guy swore he could make his gf climax by biting her shoulder, through the magic of conditioned responses). Is that something you can learn to do? What's the training process like?

[Hime]

And Euryleia, that was an awesome story excerpt. Very good writing.

[Euryleia]

And Euryleia, that was an awesome story excerpt. Very good writing.

Thank you. ~fights blush~ I'm glad you enjoyed it.