Orgasm Control- The In's and Out's

[Sir_Russell]

As I am sure I have stated else where I practice orgasm control for mine. She is told very early in the relationship even before I decide whether I will accept her gift, that she can not climax without my direct permission. Yes that is all inclusive. She is to call me if I am not there to grant or deny permission. I know that this training allows growth in many different areas.

First she learns that I am the one in control where it really counts but only because she wants me to be. She has the right to refuse and find a new Dom.

Second, it teaches her to beg, god I love to be really begged, till it becomes second nature to her. These first two are very important to teaching her to let go of personal control and give it to me.

Third, once it has become established she will learn multiple climaxes and to climax on demand when I want it the most. I am deep inside of her and I want the thrill of her climax to take me over the edge.

Third, once she is trained she can experience a climax like no other, the one that goes from my getting her excited then stopping touching her in any way and telling her "cum for, cum for hard, show me how much you love me, cum for me NOW'. I am told that the climax is so mental that it almost hurts her body. Finally I can have her cum by just talking her into it, without any touch by me or her.

Once these have been established cuming by herself is almost impossible and to cheat lol is about the same. At that point I own her and have to screw up big time to lose her.

Other may disagree and that is fine I can only explain what I know

[cadence]

As I am sure I have stated else where I practice orgasm control for mine. She is told very early in the relationship even before I decide whether I will accept her gift, that she can not climax without my direct permission. Yes that is all inclusive. She is to call me if I am not there to grant or deny permission. I know that this training allows growth in many different areas.

I have a question about the sub asking permission to orgasm.
I understand the training and the reasoning of orgasm control, so I also understand the reasoning behind asking permission.
I was just curious as to when permission is granted or when it is denied. Is it part of a certain process, or is it determined by the mood of the Dominant, or how well a sub can beg for it.

I personally do not like begging, but then again I am not used to it, and find it to be a bit embarassing. I would not even want to ask if I could have an orgasm, I would be nervous to do so, I would probably feel that I had failed something somehow.

Sorry if I hijacked this thread a bit.

[Hime]

I have a question about the sub asking permission to orgasm.
I understand the training and the reasoning of orgasm control, so I also understand the reasoning behind asking permission.
I was just curious as to when permission is granted or when it is denied. Is it part of a certain process, or is it determined by the mood of the Dominant, or how well a sub can beg for it.

I personally do not like begging, but then again I am not used to it, and find it to be a bit embarassing. I would not even want to ask if I could have an orgasm, I would be nervous to do so, I would probably feel that I had failed something somehow.

Sorry if I hijacked this thread a bit.

I suck at begging. It is definitely a turn-on for both me and my husband, but it does not come naturally.

I think that a lot of us submissives are into what we are into precisely because we have trouble asking for what we need and worry about appearing weak in the "real world." We try really hard to be tough and independent, and it leaves us with a real need to be cared for. A lot of us are used to living in cultures (particularly corporate culture -- notice how many submissives have some kind of white-collar office job) where having needs and limits is thought of as a failing to be eliminated; it's no wonder we seek out those who are willing to give us what we need and respect us for our strengths without disregarding our weaknesses.

So if begging is something that you are interested in doing, it's possible that the process of overcoming your barriers to asking for things and your fear of failure would actually make the experience more gratifying for you. The feeling that "if I have to ask for help it means that I've failed" is probably something that makes your life more difficult, and working on it with your dominant partner could be a really liberating experience.

[tessa]

I was just curious as to when permission is granted or when it is denied. Is it part of a certain process, or is it determined by the mood of the Dominant, or how well a sub can beg for it.

Sorry if I hijacked this thread a bit.

You didn't hijack it a bit! You added to it. My thanks.

Finally I can have her cum by just talking her into it, without any touch by me or her.

Fascinating. Absloutely fascinating. I can't even imagine that. How much time does it take to develop that sort of ability?

We want you to beg us because that is OUR kink. We relish the power you give us when we control your orgasms and begging allows us to wield that power (perhaps over simplified.)

Over-simplified or not, the insight is invaluable! So appreciating you for this.

I think that a lot of us submissives are into what we are into precisely because we have trouble asking for what we need and worry about appearing weak in the "real world." We try really hard to be tough and independent, and it leaves us with a real need to be cared for. A lot of us are used to living in cultures (particularly corporate culture -- notice how many submissives have some kind of white-collar office job) where having needs and limits is thought of as a failing to be eliminated; it's no wonder we seek out those who are willing to give us what we need and respect us for our strengths without disregarding our weaknesses.

That is another spot of brilliance. Excellently worded. And so very clarifying for me personally. Thank you for taking the time to say it in just this way.

Ma_am, your definitions make perfect sense to me. Not sure if that's such a positive reflection, coming from me...

[Sir_Russell]

I have a question about the sub asking permission to orgasm.
I understand the training and the reasoning of orgasm control, so I also understand the reasoning behind asking permission.
I was just curious as to when permission is granted or when it is denied. Is it part of a certain process, or is it determined by the mood of the Dominant, or how well a sub can beg for it.

I personally do not like begging, but then again I am not used to it, and find it to be a bit embarassing. I would not even want to ask if I could have an orgasm, I would be nervous to do so, I would probably feel that I had failed something somehow.

Sorry if I hijacked this thread a bit.

cadence

First do you have any idea how many subs feel just that way, begging is against what we have been trained to do all our lives. Many find that being begged is embarrassing a type of manipulation by the person begging.

Second, Oz stated a an obvious truism that it seems most subs didn't "get". You stated one also that most Doms don't get. So thank you for that.

I hope that Oz and mine comments will help you to know that it isn't failure but success to beg your Dom which will please him very much and, this may shock you too, make him very proud of you and being your Dom. There is nothing else that does that quite like begging.

I have said to all of the sub/slaves that have promised themselves to me that they can get anything they want for me if they go about it correctly. The happiest ones learn that kneeling in front of me and begging sweetly for what they want would only be refused if her request was harmful to her or us.

Can you learn how to beg, yes you can everyone knows how, and begging for a climax when you know it is required is the way to start. I would advise your Master to punish you for each climax you have without permission and for that matter to refuse even the simpliest request if you don't beg him. This training should only be done in private but must be done for each of you to really be M/s.

I don't understand how the power exchange can be complete until this is done, and once you have, excuse the term, mastered it both of you will live the life you want.

Russell

[cadence]

So if begging is something that you are interested in doing, it's possible that the process of overcoming your barriers to asking for things and your fear of failure would actually make the experience more gratifying for you. The feeling that "if I have to ask for help it means that I've failed" is probably something that makes your life more difficult, and working on it with your dominant partner could be a really liberating experience.

Thanks for your comments Hime, I can personally relate to much of what you stated. I think that the hardest thing to do is break down and overcome the feelings of what you feel is wrong, uncomfortable and taboo.

We want you to beg us because that is OUR kink. We relish the power you give us when we control your orgasms and begging allows us to wield that power (perhaps over simplified.)

I hope that Oz and mine comments will help you to know that it isn't failure but success to beg your Dom which will please him very much and, this may shock you too, make him very proud of you and being your Dom. There is nothing else that does that quite like begging.

I don't understand how the power exchange can be complete until this is done, and once you have, excuse the term, mastered it both of you will live the life you want.
Russell

Yes both you and Ozme have answered my question. Thank you to both of you.
I sometimes fail to fully understand the reasoning behind certain things that Dominants want to achieve, I suppose due to the fact that I have an extremely difficult time letting go of ingrained thoughts and habits.

You didn't hijack it a bit! You added to it. My thanks.

Thanks , I should stop doing things like that.
I think one of the worst qualities I posess as a person and submissive is my insecurity in myself.