DowntownAmber picked up a very important point here:
"The men in my life that have been intimidated by, bothered by, or otherwise have desired to manipulate my personality are the ones that have always held the least sway over me."

Again, I agree. Men who were scared, intimidated, or irritated by my personality were without exception less sure of themselves than myself, and certainly less than a good Dom should be, and why on Earth would I want to submit to a weakling?

In the best case, a man who recquires a doormat is a weakling.
In the worst case, he is a woman-hater with little to no self-control who holds great potential for genuine abuse.

I cannot emphasize enough that the base for every BDSM relationship should be respect and trust - and this is valid BOTH ways!

A bit of info for masterB: I submitted sexually to hubby rather quick because I knew this was what I wanted. To submit to him in other matters and finally in everyday life matters took a lot more time. One of the reasons for that was that whenever in my past I showed a weakness to a man, he would use it against me - so I had to learn how to basically trust a man (a man I had a relationship with, that is) again. Yes it took time, yes it was at times difficult and scary for me, and yes I enjoy the results very much.
Be patient and allow your wife to learn step by step. Donīt rush.