A couple of comments from Arria I'm going to agree with and pitch in my two cents reagarding...

Quote Originally Posted by Arria View Post
I myself am stubborn as hell in everyday life, and like to handle my own stuff.

This does not affect a woman's ability to be a sub! As Amber said - the fact that my hubby lets me be what I am in daily life allows me to hand over control in the BDSM part of our lives.

This also caused great confusion to me in the beginning of our relationship, as I thought those two sides of me cannot be combined in any satisfying way. But they can.
They can and, honestly, I think this is the MOST satisfying combination...

Arria and I were in the same boat here, and more than likely your wife is there now as well. A strong woman a sub? On the surface it seems to make no sense, but this is where the respect and trust really take shape. It takes nothing to accept the submission of a doormat, but there is mutual respect and communication in owning and being trusted with the strength and surrender of an equal. Submission and acceptance is a choice, not an inevitability; and given the choice, wouldn’t you opt for a partner that also has the taste to choose you for your highest qualities?

Quote Originally Posted by Arria View Post
Again, I agree. Men who were scared, intimidated, or irritated by my personality were without exception less sure of themselves than myself, and certainly less than a good Dom should be, and why on Earth would I want to submit to a weakling?

In the best case, a man who requires a doormat is a weakling.

In the worst case, he is a woman-hater with little to no self-control who holds great potential for genuine abuse.
Spot on. Throwing a spoiler on a Civic won’t make it a Ferrari and won’t turn you into a race car driver, nor will snapping a pair or cuffs on your wife and grabbing a crop make her a submissive and you a Dom. Take the time to learn how to drive your particular relationship and dynamic, and it could prove to be a wonderful and very successful coupling.