How do you approach the hard questions????

[cookiecat]

Do you think you could all be done with you pseudo-secret character assassination? It's boring and beneath us all.

Was this one of the hard questions?

[jeanne]

Was this one of the hard questions?

It wasn't hard to ask, cookie. And I got the answer I expected - excuses and avoidance. It's a shame that minx felt the need to air this very specific example, knowing that everyone would know who she was talking about. It seems that there's some sort of underlying "Dom pissing match" going on here at the library, egged on by some subbies. It's happened before and it will happen again.

So, to answer the original question...

Yes, the hard questions should be asked. And yes, the fallout from them is sometimes not what we intend/hope for. But it's better to know up front than to leave it lingering and festering out of fear...and when the reaction or answer is not what we expected, well, at least we know. And can make a decision based on that.

[annie]

It wasn't hard to ask, cookie. And I got the answer I expected - excuses and avoidance. It's a shame that minx felt the need to air this very specific example, knowing that everyone would know who she was talking about. It seems that there's some sort of underlying "Dom pissing match" going on here at the library, egged on by some subbies. It's happened before and it will happen again.

So, to answer the original question...

Yes, the hard questions should be asked. And yes, the fallout from them is sometimes not what we intend/hope for. But it's better to know up front than to leave it lingering and festering out of fear...and when the reaction or answer is not what we expected, well, at least we know. And can make a decision based on that.

And sort of along those same lines...

1. When a question is asked there is normally more too it or the asker wouldn't have the need to to ask it.

2. And no one can ever know the full story of anyone else's relationship unless they are a part of it, so judging which questions should and shouldn't be asked and how the responses should or shouldn't have happened and the persons character is unfair to both parties and no one's business unless they are directly involved from the start of the initial relationship.

And while the thread was started for the right reasons... Here's my question...

Why do some find it necessary to air their laundry and other's in a public forum and try to do it on the sly in the process? Certainly leads back to my second point of judging and a persons character.

So, I agree some questions need to be asked... INSIDE the relationship and kept there. Otherwise the trust that everyone is talking about in needing the questions and answers is just as broken, imo.