Trust (or lack thereof)

[Flaming_Redhead]

In a relationship, D/s or otherwise, who is responsible when it comes to trust? Does trust need to be earned, or is it something that should be freely given?

In a relationship, both parties are responsible when it comes to trust. Some amount of trust should be freely given, as much as you are comfortable with, but that doesn't necessitate that you follow blindly.

If there is mistrust, who is at fault? The person who has the feelings of doubt, or the one is isn't being trusted?

If there is mistrust, it usually occurs because of a situation or misunderstanding between those involved which is where communication becomes important. Who is to blame depends on the situation.

What if there aren't any reasons to be mistrustful, but it is just a result of insecurity? How is this best dealt with?

I wouldn't go so far as to say there aren't ever any reasons to be mistrustful or insecure. I know I have my reasons. It doesn't excuse an overreaction, either on my part or his. It is best dealt with by communicating your feelings and, hopefully, having your fears laid to rest. If every time you try to discuss how you feel and get berated for it, it doesn't help the situation for either involved.

What happens when blind trust is provided, but undeserved?

In my experience, bad things usually happen.

Is it enough to just say "trust me?"

It will never be enough for me to hear that. I have to see it to believe it.

More specific to a D/s context, what if a Dom states that if his sub does not trust him, she will be released?

That's his choice. If, after a time, the trust isn't growing between them, it's probably best to call the whole thing off.

Many here have made very good and valid points. For myself, I know I have issues. In my mind, my fears are not unfounded. I'm not the type to accuse anyone of cheating, etc., or go ballistic without due cause, and I'm actually very forgiving and understanding. However, when someone hits a wall and decides there's no hope without actually making any effort to correct the behavior which is causing the bad feelings, I'm not willing to take all the blame.

I'm worth a fucking phone call, damn it! *cries*