Difficult situation... and not an easy one to get out of to my mind.

Though if I were you I would at least check out the legal ages of consent in your area (I assume it is the US somewhere as you say college not university) and the age of majority. You see, in this country it is 18 for most things (currently 16 to be able to consent to sex) and that means a greater deal of legal freedom for someone in your position. If it is the US then I suspect it is 21 (I know it is this in some states for drinking, not sure what it is for sex at all - anyone know?)

One thing you need to consider is how your parents actually feel about this. Forget the catholic morals, think about them as parents. They see you growing up. They think you are thier little girl. They probably never wanted to know about you having sex. I bet you never want to think about them having sex? I know I still have trouble thinking about my parents having sex... its common to families, I hate thinking about my little sister having sex even though she is now in her 20's and has a baby. Trust me, the instinct to protect a child or other family member is strong in most humans and often bypasses the parts of the brain that govern common sense and intellect. I know this because I have often had these feelings and the intellectual part of my brain is still there, sitting in the background saying 'Excuse me... er this is a bit silly, isn't it. Why don't you sit down and... oh, never mind'

They want to protect you from the big bad world, this is a strong instinct. They simply do not realise (emotionally if not intellectually) that you are a grown up now who is responsible for her own actions. Your mother asked because she felt she had to, even though she realised she may not like the answer you gave. Now she knows and it is difficult for her (and your father who I assume also knows now, unless your mother is keeping a confidence) to get to grips with this. It will take them time to adjust and you have to ride out the storm for now. It may help to try to compromise and make the transition easier for them and you - try not to cause scenes or look for arguments, keep family committments, be the dutifiul daughter or son we all have to be. Eventually they will come round to the idea as all parents eventually have to. Our family has weathered at least one storm like this and it wasn't all that long (a few months) before my other sister was allowed back into the family fold and even allowed to bring her girlfriends to dinner.

And I would not suggest introducing the idea of BDSM yet, either... if at all, ever. Definitely agree with you on that one Though you may be surprised, one friend of mine 'came out' to her parents only to have her parents 'come out' to her as well at the same time in a 'Oh, you too?' sort of way. However, I think this was a rare one off thing

And of course the Catholic church has a fine old tradition of BDSM behind it. I think they invented most of the concepts in the lifestyle - the St Andrews cross, the rack, the choke pear, the scolds bridal, manacles, flagellation...