I need advice on strict Christian Parents.

[Guest020109]

"I agree. The sense I get is that this Dom is new to all this and so may not yet have found the confidence he needs to be the Dom you think he should be. He may also be staying away out of a desire to not make the situation worse than it already is (even if that is apparently causing a problem) by avoiding the possibly inevitable and explosive confrontation that will result if he spends too long with the parents. Its possibly a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. A confrontation may air all the problems and clear the air a little but it is also likely to lead to a lot more trouble for the OP in the long run and may even precipitate a situation where she is forced to leave home.

As an aside, I feel this thread has highlighted a major difference between the UK and the USA. By 19 I had already moved out of my parent's house and considered that they had no say on what I did or who with. They had the right to comment and I would listen to their advice but not the right to outright forbid. But, by 18 in this country you are considered to be legally responsible for your own actions. Is this not the case in USA or is it the later age of 21?"

fetishdj in the USA most people when they turn 18 in the USA they will move out but not all the time. I have not moved out because My mom and I guess I don't feel ready for me to be out on my own. I'm not mature enough. Mr Fix It you need to meet my parents to understand why my dom can't meet then, lolz. They can be scary at times, also the fact he knows how they don't like him.So myscis right, it's hard to meet parents. We have known each other since freshman in high school(I'm 19 and he is 20) been dating for 8 months on May 5th, and we have been into BDSM for 2 or 3 months now. We are kinda new at this. I am going to see if he can post his opinion on here, i asked him if he could come take a look at this cause you all give such wonderful advice.

[gemmy]

"I agree. The sense I get is that this Dom is new to all this and so may not yet have found the confidence he needs to be the Dom you think he should be. He may also be staying away out of a desire to not make the situation worse than it already is (even if that is apparently causing a problem) by avoiding the possibly inevitable and explosive confrontation that will result if he spends too long with the parents. Its possibly a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. A confrontation may air all the problems and clear the air a little but it is also likely to lead to a lot more trouble for the OP in the long run and may even precipitate a situation where she is forced to leave home.

As an aside, I feel this thread has highlighted a major difference between the UK and the USA. By 19 I had already moved out of my parent's house and considered that they had no say on what I did or who with. They had the right to comment and I would listen to their advice but not the right to outright forbid. But, by 18 in this country you are considered to be legally responsible for your own actions. Is this not the case in USA or is it the later age of 21?"

fetishdj in the USA most people when they turn 18 in the USA they will move out but not all the time. I have not moved out because My mom and I guess I don't feel ready for me to be out on my own. I'm not mature enough. Mr Fix It you need to meet my parents to understand why my dom can't meet then, lolz. They can be scary at times, also the fact he knows how they don't like him.So myscis right, it's hard to meet parents. We have known each other since freshman in high school(I'm 19 and he is 20) been dating for 8 months on May 5th, and we have been into BDSM for 2 or 3 months now. We are kinda new at this. I am going to see if he can post his opinion on here, i asked him if he could come take a look at this cause you all give such wonderful advice.

Ok wait a minute here - am I the only one seeing this??

She wants her parents to support her, pay for her car, her insurance, her rent, her food and all in all, her well being, but doesn't think they should have a say in her life?

Sorry to say it......but, suck it up hunnie, life's full of trade off's, if you continue to Use their support, you continue to live by their rules simply.....you know that age old saying: "As long as you live in my house........" Still stands today.

Second goes to the above bolded point - you're not mature enough to move out and be an adult, but you're mature enough to be having sex?? and more BDSM sex? *shakes head*

Hard but simple: Grow up or Grow out - You'd be far more hard pressed were you my daughter

p.s.: I'm neither Christian nor Religious and don't believe this should be shouldered by the Religious sect

[stripedangel]

gem, you're a gem! She hit it on the head, y'all. I remember my Dad saying, "whatever you do in your own home when you move out is your business, and I'll have nothing at all to say about it. But while you're living in my house, eating my food, wearing the clothes that I bought you, you'll do what I tell you to do!"

When i moved out, and had my own place, he never once said a word about how i conducted myself...unless i was visiting at his house.

Guess what? I tell my teenager the same thing.

We've all been trying to be the adult advisors helping out a youngster, and while i've seen some damn good advice, no one has put it all to the point quite like gem here.

Take a deep breath, HisandHisOnly, hold your chin up, and realize that you've got it easy right now.

You're taking for granted that your parents are investing A LOT of time, effort and dinero IN YOU! What a blessing that is! I cannot afford to send my kiddo to college. Your parents aparently can afford it (or are sacrificing A LOT to afford it), and are choosing to do this for you. What do they get in return? When your career is going well are you gonna start paying their way thru life like they've done for you for the last 19 years?? NO, and they wouldn't want that...so it must all be just for you!

Have you ever wondered how much money they've shelled out for you over the years? Ever been to the dentist? Did ya get braces? $4-6 grand right there. Ever break a bone? $1 grand, plus follow-ups. Did you buy your own car?? Did you graduate High School? Go to prom? Senior pix? Senior trip? All of these things cost your parents time, money, and sometimes their sanity.

Maybe you should be more appreciative of what they've done for you, and what they're still doing for you, because they're not doing it for anyone's benefit but yours!

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

Ok wait a minute here - am I the only one seeing this??

She wants her parents to support her, pay for her car, her insurance, her rent, her food and all in all, her well being, but doesn't think they should have a say in her life?

Sorry to say it......but, suck it up hunnie, life's full of trade off's, if you continue to Use their support, you continue to live by their rules simply.....you know that age old saying: "As long as you live in my house........" Still stands today.

Second goes to the above bolded point - you're not mature enough to move out and be an adult, but you're mature enough to be having sex?? and more BDSM sex? *shakes head*

Hard but simple: Grow up or Grow out - You'd be far more hard pressed were you my daughter

p.s.: I'm neither Christian nor Religious and don't believe this should be shouldered by the Religious sect

I agree with you there, gem. I remember when I brought my first fiance home the first time (my ex-husband). I was almost 26 and had been sleeping with him for almost a year and they still made us sleep in separate rooms. And then the shit hit the fan when my father caught us making out. In my family sex was never discussed and it was implied that I would remain a virgin until I got married. OOPS! Of course, my brother was another story, since he and his girlfriends could make out for hours in his room with the door closed. Don't you love double standards? And yes, I know it was because my parents felt that was protecting me since I was the one who get pregnant. However, that wasn't the way I saw it at the time. I just felt that it was unfair to have such a double standard.

I also agree with you in that when you live under your parents' roof you abide by their rules. You want to be treated like a mature adult, then you act like a mature adult. It's the only way to earn their respect and for them to start relaxing their rules. If you don't, then they are going to keep you on an even tighter leash, because they will feel that they can't trust you yet to make mature decisions in your life. You continue to act like a child and they will continue to treat you like a child.