Quote Originally Posted by Delaquoi View Post

Anyway, here's the thing. I know that vanilla sex doesn't satisfy me. Or not usually, sometimes maybe it has, if it's really fucking good, if I'm really besotted and flushed with desire for her, maybe, but still, there's something missing, something more I need, I keep coming back to ... I need the submission. I need to push it further. I crave it. If can be with a vanilla girl I really like and she says - hit me, tie me, call me names - good, this is something, maybe for a while it can be enough. But I want more. I can pretend for a while that it is not there. But at some point for sure the initial excitement will wear off, and the need to live out what I'm really desiring will grow too strong. I can see that I am turning away from her, from my desire and wonder at her, this woman, and into my own fantasies, which she cannot be a part of. I am not going to try and coerce or mold her into something she doesn't really want. It will just have to end there. I'll explain my needs, my desires, and she, probably, won't really understand, she'll try to understand, but there's really just a look of incomprehension, maybe sadness, and - what are you saying, why can't I give you what you want? There's something wrong with you? There's something wrong with me?
How do you know she doesn't want it? She may very well be feeling exactly the same way as you are and I think if you are willing to walk away anyway, what have you lost by talking to her about it? Are you that afraid of being judged by someone who very well may not end up a part of your life anyway? Think about it, you already have a desire and genuine like established with her, I'd say take the risk and at least give her the opportunity to make a choice in the fate of the relationship.

Besides, meeting with 'like-minded' people doesn't mean you get what you want either there is never any guarantees and only you can make things happen for you

Good luck!