I need advice on strict Christian Parents.

[stripedangel]

"One thing does strkes me oddly, though. How can your man be your Dom, yet he is uneasy around your parents? A person who claims to be a Dom/Domme should not feel uneasy or uncertain in any situation. It sounds as though you're both very young and inexperienced. I don't mean to sound condescending. I also was very young once and had little experience (in fact, at your age, I knew nothing about BDSM). I am not suggesting that your Dom should stand up and proclaim his status to your 'rents, but he should at least do his best to ensure that he is not complicating your life while you are under their control."

When you keep it all in context, it's easier to understand what Mr.FixIt is saying here. He's not expecting a Dom/me to be nonhuman...he's saying that this one sounds like he's not mature as a Dom. He has to be a MAN first, and that means doing things that he may not like to do...such as not hiding himself from her parents. Hiding himself (staying out of their way) is not going to help HisandHisOnly's parents trust either of them. If some guy came by and picked up my daughter without saying "hello," i would have to wonder why...and what they're up to. This complicates her situation because the less her parents trust her, the more confrontational they will become, asking more questions and showing more disapproval. Some of our insecurities have to be dealt with, no matter who we are.


HisandHisOnly,

ALL parents are scary. Master and i scare every child that comes around. We're probably just as strict as your parents. From one strict parent to one child of strict parents, i am here to tell you that this way is dishonest. Period. When your parents see you being dishonest in this way, they wonder what else you're being dishonest about. Then you feel the need to stretch the truth. The situation is then perpetuated. That's no way to start out in any relationship.

A boyfriend is already distrusted before the parents even meet him. He has to earn their trust (here's a good one for the trust thread lol), and that's a daunting task!

Maybe it's not right, but that's simply the way it is. You raise a beautiful daughter, teach her, mold her, help her be a lady, teach her about woman things, doctor her owies and support her in all she does, and then she (how dare her!) starts seeing boys. Doesn't matter what boy, he's not ever good enough for your baby girl. Never will be. We want you to grow up, get a great job, get married and have us grandbabies (in THAT order), but that guy will not make the grade...not even after 10 years of marriage! However, he'll be closer than he is now...unless you're dishonest.

I hated being the one who heard the parents: "That boy is only after one thing. He's using you...etc"

I also had the pleasure of hearing him griping about my parents all the time...it became the main topic of nearly every conversation that he and i had.

So, then i was the the one in the middle, and every moment of my day was spent with this issue on my mind.

i think you should get this all out on the table, if you're planning any type of long-term relationship. I'm not saying to spill everything, but you need to talk it out with all involved. Find out what might help your parents loosen up...ask them what you can do to help them feel more comfortable with your boyfriend...and ask what he can do as well. Not that you have to do what they say, but you could try and compromise a bit with them about it. Don't expect much, but it shows that you're trying.

If you let it all just keep going as it stands, the situation will deteriorate. It will drive a wedge between you and your parents, as well as you and your boyfriend.

Good luck!

-stripey