Maybe if you could (somehow) bring up the other parts of BDSM that are not sexual...

Explain what you know about the relationship...trust to the extreme, both caring seriously about how your relationship is going, learning together, growing together in a new way...sometimes this side of it will mean more to him. The BDSM reputation scares the hell out of people (well, some) who have never been educated about it.

LOL just a funny thought......what if you told him that he would never be turned down for sex, even if you have a headache?

Master and i hadn't told each other of our true kink, till we were married for 8 years. Even when i started being more open with Him about it, He was afraid to admit certain things, so he looked at me like i was insane, and smiled, but never told me of a preference...out of embarrassment. i began to do the same, and we backtracked on our journey together because of it. i wonder if your man is having a hard time admitting that he's intrigued......

Just some thoughts!