That first meeting

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

Master and I chatted mostly in Yahoo chat, which was plain text typing, like chatting in the room here on this site. This was the before Yahoo even had voice chat or webcam capabilities. W/we did chat in Excite a few times, but it was the same as chatting in Yahoo. I don't remember Virtual Places in Excite.

[Ozme52]

Comments such as the one by Oz in another thread that 'no one would ever meet' if they we were all suspicious & took proper precautions, are nonsense.

Quote me or ignore me. Don't paraphrase me and get it wrong.

[Tojo]

My apologies Oz- here you go- exact quote from other thread:

If everyone followed your guidelines, no one would ever meet with someone they got to know online first.

I think it's nonsense to suggest that- taking proper precautions should not put people off meeting. Anyone who's that easily put off isn't too serious IMO, or has something to hide.

[Alex Bragi]

My apologies Oz- here you go- exact quote from other thread:

"If everyone followed your guidelines, no one would ever meet with someone they got to know online first." (Oz)

I think it's nonsense to suggest that- taking proper precautions should not put people off meeting. Anyone who's that easily put off isn't too serious IMO, or has something to hide.

Actually, I think it's too individual to generalise, like you both have here. Of course, that's just my opinion, and opinions will alway differ.

[Ozme52]

My apologies Oz- here you go- exact quote from other thread:

If everyone followed your guidelines, no one would ever meet with someone they got to know online first.

I think it's nonsense to suggest that- taking proper precautions should not put people off meeting. Anyone who's that easily put off isn't too serious IMO, or has something to hide.

At least this way it's clear you and I differ in the definition of proper precautions and I can still stand by my original statement.

[Ozme52]

Actually, I think it's too individual to generalise, like you both have here. Of course, that's just my opinion, and opinions will alway differ.

Right you are Alex, too bad my opinion is apparently nonsense. On the other hand, I'm out there meeting people, making connections, and enriching my life. I have no knock against pure online encounters, but I prefer some human contact.

[thrall]

Once in a while I’m reminded that forums such as this serve the purpose of informing new people, and not just for a select few to preen their egos and flirt.

That’s the reason I come to places such as this- to counter the nonsense talked on some sites about how a sub ‘should’ and shouldn’t act, and that there’s a secret book of rules mouldering in a cave somewhere in Turkey.

Some would have us believe that unless we’ve done an apprenticeship with an approved school, we’re just playing at D/s and not real Doms or subs.

With that in mind, I’d like to ask for people’s experiences in meeting for the first time.

Have you taken an online relationship to the next step- of meeting in person? How did it go? What are the do’s and don’ts of that first meet? How long did you chat or whatever before you met? Did you have a clear understanding of what would take place- & what wouldn't?

I’d like to point out that few people will post their negative experiences. Many either disappear, or just decide it’s too painful to remember- I’ve had more chats and emails from disappointed subs than I’d care to remember and know I’m not alone.

Yes i have taken the step into real life, on several levels. Some just as friends and one as D/s.

On the purely friendship level the meets were easy and casual.......and loads of fun! You could say that we did have "do's and "dont's" with clear understandings of "what would and wouldn't happen" We all knew that our meets were just as friends and not "play dates"......so it was pure fun.

Meeting people for the pure pleasure of meeting a friend is very different than someone you are planning to play with.

I am very cautious and i like to have real conversations to get to know someone. Conversations about the everyday and the mundane, conversations about what you think and what you feel. I like to get to know someone enough to feel just how genuine they are.....Does the "story" change? Are they consistent in actions.....does 1+1...=2

We started out in PM's moved to email then to IM......then to the phone. We have been talking for almost a year now. I move slowly....i do not "jump"

I have requirements to play.....if you have nothing to hide then you should have nothing to fear from my "requirements"......simple, easy, and open.

Yes we both had a very clear understanding of what would take place........lol

Lunch and a nice chat.

Anything else......depended on if it felt right..........*weg*

[ashtonDs]

Delia, I think this is worth at least three of four cents

[sidhewolf]

Once in a while I’m reminded that forums such as this serve the purpose of informing new people, and not just for a select few to preen their egos and flirt.

That’s the reason I come to places such as this- to counter the nonsense talked on some sites about how a sub ‘should’ and shouldn’t act, and that there’s a secret book of rules mouldering in a cave somewhere in Turkey.

Some would have us believe that unless we’ve done an apprenticeship with an approved school, we’re just playing at D/s and not real Doms or subs.

With that in mind, I’d like to ask for people’s experiences in meeting for the first time.

Have you taken an online relationship to the next step- of meeting in person? How did it go? What are the do’s and don’ts of that first meet? How long did you chat or whatever before you met? Did you have a clear understanding of what would take place- & what wouldn't?

I’d like to point out that few people will post their negative experiences. Many either disappear, or just decide it’s too painful to remember- I’ve had more chats and emails from disappointed subs than I’d care to remember and know I’m not alone.

Yes, I have met with PPL I have e-met, the one I am in now for one. I don't term an online person a "Relationship" until or unless I meet that person ITF. I realize that's Me and not how Everyone see's these things. And that's ok.

"Do's and Don'ts of first meeting" > DO meet in a Public Place (OR) have a Safety Net set up if you Choose to meet in a private one. If things go well Great. If they don't One can at least be Safe.

For this Relationship We talked a couple months online and phone before actually meeting ITF. For Other's I have met from online the timeframe has varied from a couple conversations to years of communications. At the same time the Meeting ITF conditions have varied as widely. 2 Rules of thumb *for me* 1) Public 1st Meeting (OR) 2) Safety Net. There is no #3.

"Have a clear understanding of what would or wouldn't take place at the first meeting"; Always! Though I have at times been open to a variance

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[Rowen]

It didn't matter anymore when I got off the plane and made it through customs. I walked around the bend in the Pearson Airport and there He was. My heart leapt into my chest and I almost swear it was one of those slow motion movie moments. I practically ran down the ramp to be in His arms and when He said "Welcome Home." I knew I'd never leave (well I had to then but I'm back for good now). He collared me when I walked through His door and short of showers and Him changing my collars to new ones, it has never come off my neck.

Simply wonderful...who doesn't dream about this??

[Rowen]

Hi, perhaps it has all been told before... but this is indeed an important subject. I have taken the liberty the write some thoughts and guideline on safety in an online R/S, even before that first meeting. Hope you llike it and that it's useful http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...187#post671187