victims of abuse support for submissives

[Mr.FixIt]

Sometimes the best thing is to just listen and not try to "fix" anything (which goes against my nature)and is often the hardest part of this for dominates.

I concur entirely!

I strongly recommend a "light" hand with any survivor when it comes to limit testing and "tasks" designed to help in dealing with a given trigger, as these emotive responses they experience are very very "real" for them.

My slave, stripey, has suffered both physical and verbal/mental abuse (I would not discuss this, except that she has already shared this much here with all of you and I commend her for that). However, we ENJOY a "heavy" hand in play and in discipline. But, for her, her past mental abuse has been the prevalent matter. It has taken years to get her to realize how beautiful, wonderful, caring, loving and intelligent she is. I could never utilize humiliation techniques with her. For her, such BDSM tactics would be demonstrative and demolishing of what I have tried to help her recognize.

Please understand that I am not trying to compare physical abuse vs. verbal/mental abuse vs. sexual abuse. I myself used to be a victim of both verbal/mental and sexual abuse. I have no personal experience with physical abuse other than what I know of stripey's past--secondhand; therefore, I do not feel that I would be qualified to make such a comparison, nor do I see the need for such a comparison. But, for stripey, I do know that the verbal/mental abuse has been the lingering issue.

How you react to your submissive's needs is of paramont importance.

ABSOLUTELY.