Balancing Faith and BDSM

[MissElizabeth87]

Oh, just to clarify something... I have never EVER been taught that sex is inherently "bad" or "evil". I guess church may have tried that, but I had very good parents who taught me that there is absolutely nothing bad about sex, that it is a gift from God to be enjoyed (but because of its binding nature, within marriage). I don't believe there is anything wrong with sex.

My questions came mainly from the fact that I top my guy, rather than submit to him.

I'll still have some more soul searching to do, but everyone has made some really helpful comments. I've always intellectually understood the difference between religion's rules and a relationship with a "personal God" (as TomofSweden stated)... but I guess I never really understood it in my heart until now.

[fetishdj]

Yep... the problem with religion (as opposed to faith) is that its dogmatic nature means that it takes many centuries to update with the times. The issue of female rights, for example, is something that they are slow to pick up on. I am actually surprised that the EU has not hit the Pope with an equal rights suit based on thier non equal opportunities employment policy

As for things being 'in the bible', I agree... there are a lot of things that are in there (and many which can be read in different ways to mean different things) but also many things claimed to be in there are not. Some Christians just need to actually read the damn thing rather than just assuming stuff that is in there. However, Adriana, the Catholics have an advantage on this than many other denominations. Most of the Catholic rules that are not in the bible are in fact papal bulls. Since the concept of the pope being the representative of god on earth is set by biblical precedent, if he makes a bull then it is god's law. Even if it contradicts a previous one. So, this is how they get away with saying things that are god's will that aren't in the bible

I do know that a lot of catholics left the church in disgust following the rulings of Vatican II which maintained the rule against contraception. I beleive the rule was originally in place because before the existence of the pill and reliable barrier methods the only 'contraception' available to women were in fact no more than early stage abortificeants - the herbal equivilent of the morning after pill. If you are being literal about the 'thou shalt not kill' rule then use of an abortificeant is murder therefore all contraception is murder. They just did not update this to take into account the fact that with modern contraception you don't get pregnant in the first place therefore there is no 'loss of life'.

[AdrianaAurora]

I am actually surprised that the EU has not hit the Pope with an equal rights suit based on thier non equal opportunities employment policy

You are too funny, this cracked me up.

And if they ever decided to actually do that, I would volunteer my services to the prosecution, .
(I dont mind Catholics, they are entitled to their religious beliefs as anyone else, but Ratzinger gives me the creeps. An evil person like that hasn't been pope since the time of Alexander Borgia, so yes I would take great pleasure in that.)

My personal stand is that as long as you don't try to force your believes on others and make it into a law, anyone can believe whatever they want. No religion teaches a man to be bad or disrespectful to others, its the people who read that into the beautiful scriptures that worry me. I enjoy a good debate, thats how we learn and grow, its when someone starts selling his believes for the absolute, faxed to him by God, truth that my alarm bells go on. The only thing that scares me in life is "mob mentality" and nothing incites it more than religious crap.

[AdrianaAurora]

Oh, just to clarify something... I have never EVER been taught that sex is inherently "bad" or "evil". I guess church may have tried that, but I had very good parents who taught me that there is absolutely nothing bad about sex, that it is a gift from God to be enjoyed (but because of its binding nature, within marriage). I don't believe there is anything wrong with sex.

My questions came mainly from the fact that I top my guy, rather than submit to him.

I'll still have some more soul searching to do, but everyone has made some really helpful comments. I've always intellectually understood the difference between religion's rules and a relationship with a "personal God" (as TomofSweden stated)... but I guess I never really understood it in my heart until now.

I think we all have that kind of struggle, submissives and Dommes. For me it was, how do I reconcile being a feminist and my need for submission. Maybe its a women thing, we are inherently thought to feel guilty, either for being "weak" or for being "strong". Anyway, I realized there was nothing to reconcile. People's personalities are not linear creations, we are complex, illogical creators. Both of these traits are a part of me, and I am just me. As long as you stay true to yourself, and this is who you are, embrace it.

And btw, sex is more fun when its a little "bad", .

[TomOfSweden]

I think we all have that kind of struggle, submissives and Dommes. For me it was, how do I reconcile being a feminist and my need for submission. Maybe its a women thing, we are inherently thought to feel guilty, either for being "weak" or for being "strong". Anyway, I realized there was nothing to reconcile. People's personalities are not linear creations, we are complex, illogical creators. Both of these traits are a part of me, and I am just me. As long as you stay true to yourself, and this is who you are, embrace it.

And btw, sex is more fun when its a little "bad", .

I'd like to add, that this isn't a specifically religious/Christian problem. We all have rules and "dogmas" imposed on us from our culture. Most of them are actually helpful, (like being polite rather than rude, or giving your set to elderly). We all have to do soul searching and figure out what is right for us in our heart.

I had my own demons to combat, but from the feminist direction. I was living with feminist dogmas where submission of women to men was inherently evil. I've got nothing against feminism. It was just that it has coloured Swedish culture pretty strongly.

We all have our internal battles to fight. I think that as long as you go to yourself instead of going to any external person, (priest, father, mother, boss, golf partner, husband, philosopher, scientist, etc) will only end well no matter the outcome. Only the road will differ. Letting other people tell you what is right for you obviously won't work. They aren't you. But that doesn't mean that their words aren't valuable. That priest you mentioned might say tonnes of great and wise things, but you have to decide which of them apply to your specific situation.

Every nugget of wisdom always has a specific scenario in mind when formulated. That is true of the Bible and its true of everything ever said. And few people fit that scenario perfectly. Maybe a little bit, but not perfectly.

[AdrianaAurora]

I had my own demons to combat, but from the feminist direction. I was living with feminist dogmas where submission of women to men was inherently evil. I've got nothing against feminism. It was just that it has coloured Swedish culture pretty strongly.

Personally I too have a problem with women (who not unlike religious leaders) have distorted feminism to the point of such absurdity.

To me feminism isn't about belitteling men, but empowering women.

[MissElizabeth87]

And btw, sex is more fun when its a little "bad", .

Yes it most definitely is... haha.


I don't get where people decided Christianity was all about rules anyways. I mean... if you read the parts of the NT where Jesus was actually ALIVE, He seemed pretty anti-rule to me. Seems like the whole book of rules deal came from a bunch of people after He was up in heaven, claiming to know His will.

And I totally agree that people should actually read the bible. I got to take classes these past couple of years in school that required in depth reading and outlining of the whole dang thing. I don't claim to know even a lot about the book, but I have at least read it.