Reconciling Conflicting Ideals

[Virulent]

if we are talking "play" I have been treated "differently", that doesn't mean worse.

Are there any hierarchies in play? If I (consensually) spit in a sub's face, do you consider her to be an equal partner in the spitting?

I get pleasure from submitting, he gets pleasure dominating, isn't that equal exchange?

In your opinion, is there a rational limit to the equitable exchange in play, or is any consensual act between two individuals non-hierarchical? If there is a limit, where do you draw the line, and by what rationale?